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Questions tagged [engagement-shidduch]

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12 votes
3 answers
5k views

Can a fiance sleep at his in-law's?

Seems to be a minhag that a fiance shall not sleep at his future in-law's house. Even just as a guest for one night. And obviously, even if there is no problem of yichud. Is there a reference in ...
yO_'s user avatar
  • 1,515
8 votes
3 answers
2k views

Are "Vorts" just engagement parties?

Is the typical "vort" that is celebrated in many Orthodox communities when a couple gets engaged of any actual significance from a Jewish perspective (Halachic / Hashkafic) or is it just a way of ...
Mark A.'s user avatar
  • 5,091
4 votes
1 answer
1k views

Breaking a "engagement" (shiduch)

I heard that breaking off an engagement to marry is bad. Is this true? I see that there are reasons that allow one to break an engagement: Chelkas Yaakov (EH 80) So is it not permitted to break it ...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
4 votes
2 answers
426 views

Shadchanus in a broken engagement [duplicate]

Reuvain & Dina get engaged and give the Shadchan, Shadchanus money. A few weeks later they break up. Does the Shadchan have to return this Shadchanus money? Suppose they never gave Shadchanus ...
Gershon Gold's user avatar
3 votes
1 answer
394 views

Payment for Shadchanim

Where did the idea of paying a shadchan come from? Is it an obligation? Is it just like paying anyone for a service? If so, why do we only pay if the shidduch leads to a marriage? Additionally, who ...
Mordechai B.'s user avatar
3 votes
0 answers
156 views

What is the source for making a "Shabbos Kallah"?

What is the source for making a get-together for a bride and her friends on the Shabbos before the wedding? What is the earliest record of such a minhag in the Jewish community?
Mark A.'s user avatar
  • 5,091
2 votes
1 answer
1k views

Standard engagement timeframe in modern Orthodox and Yishivish circles

I am recently new to this shidduchim scene and I am wondering what standard engagement timeframes are for the out-of-town modern orthodox and Yishivish circles. Once a couple becomes engaged how long ...
Wondering Jew's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
138 views

Engagement Pictures

I have heard in the past that there is a custom that the Chosson and Kallah should not pose for pictures together until they are married. This includes the engagement party and any other occasion. Is ...
Moishe's user avatar
  • 660
2 votes
1 answer
215 views

Is it permitted to shave during Sefirah for an engagement party?

The Mishnah Berurah (Orach Chayim 493:3) says that one may make an engagement party during sefirah. Is one permitted to shave in order to look presentable for the party?
user14716's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
231 views

Can an engaged woman cover part of her hair as a practice in tzniut?

When a woman becomes engaged, can she practice covering her hair a little bit at a time (both in the amount of time spent with hair covered as well as how much of the hair is covered), such as wearing ...
Lisa Simpson's user avatar
2 votes
0 answers
52 views

Chosson and Kallah not speaking [duplicate]

What are the earliest sources for the minhag in some communities that a chosson and kallah don't speak to each other during the week before the wedding?
Mark A.'s user avatar
  • 5,091
1 vote
1 answer
901 views

Breaking off an engagement

Based on this question that was asked Breaking a "engagement" (shiduch) Has anyone come across of an idea whereby if someone got engaged and want to call it off they get married and get a ...
Daniel Ross's user avatar
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1 vote
2 answers
433 views

Vort or an engagement party? [closed]

The word vort (which is yiddish) has been translated by Frumspeak to mean: 1) Any material that imparts beneficial knowledge: Lesson. 2) A concisely expressed precept: Moral. Wikipedia translates ...
Chiddushei Torah's user avatar
1 vote
1 answer
411 views

If a bride did not reveal a medical condition before the marriage is it a mekach taus (annuled)

@DonielF in a comment here seem to clame that (by the end of Ketubot) it is written that a marriage can be annuled (as a mekach tous) if the bride (I guess or her father) withheld information about ...
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546
1 vote
0 answers
71 views

Can fiances take on each other's customs before marriage?

Can two people who are engaged take on each other's customs before marriage? At what point in the marriage process do they take on each other's customs?
user3554664's user avatar
0 votes
1 answer
157 views

Are there any special tefilot that people say before/after someone gets engaged?

Are there any special segulos or tefilot that people say before/after someone gets engaged?
Avi's user avatar
  • 567
0 votes
0 answers
68 views

In this Shtar Tena'im (שטר תנאים) the chatan and kallah are represented by their mothers, not fathers, why?

I received a שטר תנאים dating 100-130 years ago possibly from Poland, possibly England, written in Hebrew. There are no dates or locations on the document! The chatan and kallah are represented by ...
bondonk's user avatar
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0 votes
0 answers
74 views

Mazel Tov li'chayim

What is supposed to take place at a "li"chayim" that parents of a new couple make when their children get engaged? Is there protocol for what is done as well as the guest list?
Mark A.'s user avatar
  • 5,091
-1 votes
1 answer
55 views

what is the soure that rav use to say by shiduchim How much do you give your son?

what is the original source of Rav, used the following formula: "How much do you give your son? So much and so much. How much do you give your daughter? So much and so much. from http://www.chabad....
hazoriz's user avatar
  • 7,546