Questions tagged [derech-eretz-manners]

Literally "the way of the land," in this case, "Derech Eretz" refers to good manners.

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6
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2answers
191 views

Saying “thank you” before taking a bite

The halacha as codified by Shulchan Aruch O.C. 167:6 is that if one interrupts between making Hamotzi and eating the bread, as long as the interruption is related to the meal (not just to eating the ...
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0answers
104 views

Is it yuhara to wear a different tallit pattern?

Assume that one is davening in a very homogeneous community, would it be yuhara to wear say, an all-white tallit when everyone else wears black-striped ones? Similarly (should I seperate this into ...
2
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1answer
142 views

Eating whole foods — like sandwiches and pizza

Where does it say that one shouldn't eat foods like sandwiches or pizza and hold the food in one's hand and bring it towards there face, but should rather eat in smaller bites or with a knife and fork....
10
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1answer
434 views

Speaking to a Rabbi in the Third Person

Is there a source for requiring one to refer to his Rabbi in the third person and not referring to a rabbi in the second person (i.e. "you")? I can not recall any reference to this requirement in ...
1
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1answer
128 views

LOR and sinat chinam or lashon hara

Recently the rav at my local schul made a highly innapropriate remark on Facebook which would be considered lashon hara as well as sinat chinam. As the schul is a shlichut of Chabad (it is the only ...
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3answers
657 views

December 25 Greetings

Is it permitted say any of the following to a Christian colleague: 1) Merry Christmas 2) Happy Xmas 3) Happy Holidays I am specifically referring to initiating a greeting not responding to such a ...
1
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1answer
75 views

Pushing and shoving Lesheim Shamayim

I have many times seen what appeared to be disrespectful pushing and shoving to get to kiss the Sefer Torah or the rebbe's hand. When inquiring about it, I was told that it shows devotion to the Torah ...
8
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1answer
254 views

Riches found in a purchased item. Return or keep it?

A young rabbi reportedly found nearly $100,000 in a desk he'd purchased second-hand on Craigslist, and subsequently returned the money. Is this story about a Kiddush HaShem, or a Hassid Shoteh (...
7
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1answer
397 views

Why call so many olim “moreinu”?

I davened in a couple of different Chassidish shuls over the past few days, and in two different places (Tenka and Munkacs), I noticed that nearly all men who were called up for an aliya were ...
16
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4answers
32k views

Would a non-Jew wearing the Star of David together with a cross be offensive?

I am not Jewish, although I come from a Jewish heritage. My great-grandmother was Jewish. I have, since childhood, found the religion fascinating, even though my belief in Jesus has firmly placed me ...
3
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0answers
63 views

Best practices for long-distance Nihum Aveilim and Kavod HaMeith

What are some best practices for people who learn from afar of the passing of an individual (not immediate family) and who want show their respects to the deceased and the surviving family? If they ...
3
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1answer
594 views

Tefilin and clothes

Is there is any "dress code" or limitation regarding what to wear (I mean at the minimum) when the time comes to put on the tefelin? I see many people putting them on wearing pajamas for example... I ...
10
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1answer
180 views

Greetings during Prayer

In light of YDK's answer here, Halacha permits one to greet and sometimes return greetings to other people at different times during prayer when other interruptions would otherwise be prohibited. (See ...
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1answer
92 views

How may one respond to someone who habitually posts off-topic on a mailing list?

A long-time member of a mailing list posts many off-topic messages, ranging from a couple a month to several a week, and rarely posts on-topic. This behavior frustrates some members of the list ...
5
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1answer
102 views

May I publish correspendence received from a corporation?

I understand that there are ethical and possibly halachic issues with publishing a letter or piece of email that I receive from another person without explicit permission. What are the considerations ...
7
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1answer
111 views

Boshes damages for a מלבין פני חברו ברבים

Asked by my kid (albeit less fleshed-out than the way I'm presenting it here): One should rather submit himself to be burned alive than cause another to blanch in shame in public, according to Sota ...
8
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3answers
295 views

Are You Obligated to Vote a Question You Answer?

If a question provokes your answer, it's at least Derekh Eretz (good manners) and Hakarat HaTov (gratitude) to vote on the original question. Does any halachic reason obligate you to upvote (or ...
20
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1answer
721 views

How should we respond to objectionable content in a public forum?

The blessing and curse of sites like StackExchange is that everything happens in public. Sometimes someone will post something objectionable and it isn't possible to take the person aside for a ...
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2answers
929 views

How does a son call up his father for an Aliyah?

Suppose a son is the Gabbai in a Shul and needs to call up his father for an aliyah (or his brother who is the son of his father). Does the son say his father's name? Does he say something else ...
5
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1answer
201 views

What are the parameters of kavod ha'brios?

When I was younger I was told that in extenuating circumstances one can rip toilet paper on shabbos (preferably not on the perforations) due to kavod ha'brios. This concept is applied in other places ...
13
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2answers
217 views

Is there a model of reconciliation in the Tanach?

Monica asked an excellent question about how to correct someone who posts something objectionable on a public forum. I was struck by the suggestion that the usual course of action was "to take the ...
11
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2answers
801 views

Halachot of Lashon Naki (clean speech)

What is the halachik source, if any, for lashon naki (clean speech)? Is there a portion of Talmud that deals with the specifics? On the surface, it seems to be employed inconsistently, by which I mean ...
10
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1answer
386 views

Should you greet a non-jew after washing netilat yadayim?

If you wash netilat yadayim and then a non-Jew says "hello" to you, should you: say "hello" back and wash again? try to acknowledge him without actually talking? or ignore him (doesn't seem right)?
9
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1answer
871 views

May one chew gum in the bathroom?

As per this post - Food in bathroom - one may not eat in the bathroom. May one chew gum in the bathroom? Is it considered eating? Connected to this post - Can you walk and chew gum at the same time?
10
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1answer
1k views

“Don't say 'lehavdil' between one Jew and another.”

In today's Parashat Hashavu'a Chat, I used the qualification "lehavdil" (*) to apply to a pun that jokingly and innocuously related the actions of Datan and Aviram to those of a community member here. ...
9
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3answers
173 views

Identifying a chasid

Say you meet a stranger who is a member of a particular community of chasidus. What is the most polite and direct way to ask the person of which community they are a member? I.e. a question whose ...
4
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1answer
111 views

Answering others' sh'elos

Would it be surprisingly improper for the author of a legal responsum to publish his own answer to a question asked, answered, and published by another such author because he believed he had a better ...
8
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3answers
213 views

Drinking on the street

Recently it has become common to see ladies walking around the Haredi neighborhoods, specifically the shopping streets of Geula, sipping from an iced coffee in a paper cup. It certainly looks ...
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2answers
226 views

Welcoming someone back after a visit to Israel

Is it proper to say "Welcome back" after someone visits Israel because of the lower level of Kedussah between Israel and Chutz LaEretz?
2
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1answer
127 views

Can't remember the name of a mussar sefer [closed]

I'm trying to remember the name of a sefer that I learnt with someone a couple of times a while ago. It was written by a chasidic rebbe, but isn't just popular amongst chasidim. We were learning a ...
10
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1answer
459 views

Is it proper for a man to hold open a door for a woman?

Is it proper for a man to hold open a door for a woman? (Does it matter if it's his wife, or any other woman?) The American-manners, don't-dare-be-or-look-like-a-misogynist part of me says "always, ...
3
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3answers
443 views

Do you have to close the window if someone's cold?

The LinkedIn FrumNetwork user that I recently corresponded with about the wisdom of the crowd brought up an interesting bit of conventional wisdom that she claims is at least partly apocryphal: For ...