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Questions tagged [derech-eretz-manners]

Literally "the way of the land," in this case, "Derech Eretz" refers to good manners.

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Is it true if a person did the sin of mishkav zachar he has to do 227 fasts to rectify his soul

I believe I saw in the Ba'al ha-Turim or in the Ramban's commentary on Torah or a commentary on the Ramban that if a person did the sin of mishkav zachar he needs to do 227 fasts in order to rectify ...
John's user avatar
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Is there a mitzvah not to ignore a person?

BH This probably very common sense question although what is the mitzvah that when your with a person you shouldn’t ignore them? What’s the source?
David 's user avatar
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Where does it say it’s not about the job but rather it’s the merits?

BH I heard that it's not about the Job or certain profession that you have rather it's your merits that actually bring you your parnasa if this is an accurate statement according to the Talmud what is ...
David 's user avatar
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3 votes
2 answers
137 views

Can you put a pencil as a bookmark in sifrei Kodesh?

BH Can you put a pencil in sifrei kodesh as a bookmark?
David 's user avatar
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Does it say anywhere that the people buried in Kavers don’t like when people put rocks on their kaver

BH Does it say anywhere in Torah that the people buried in kavers don’t like it when people put rocks on top of their kevers(like little pebbles like the neshama doesn’t like it)?
David 's user avatar
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Is there a caution in Torah against leaning on sifrei kodesh

BH Is there a worry of leaning on sifrei kodesh like leaning your left elbow on the book while doing something else with your right hand?
David 's user avatar
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Does it say anywhere in Halacha that a person shouldn’t eat where others Arnt eating?

BH Does it say anywhere that a person shouldn’t eat where others are eating so they won’t feel hungry while the person is eating?
David 's user avatar
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Is there a Halacha that says that you shouldn’t stretch in public?

BH Is there a consept in Halacha that says that a person shouldn't stretch in public(ie. to keep it together in public)
David 's user avatar
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Public nuisance in Halacha

Does Halacha recognize the notion of someone being liable for “public nuisance”? In secular law, a public nuisance is generally defined as someone who is doing something which is significantly ...
Kirk's user avatar
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3 votes
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Is there any Halacha that says you should notify the person on the phone he’s on speaker?

BH Is there a Halacha that says a person should notify the person who he’s talking on the phone with that he’s on speaker so the other will know?
David 's user avatar
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2 votes
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When is it acceptable to be impolite or rude

Is it ever ok to be impolite or rude. Say an employee is not doing their job or won’t help you when you paid for a service.
Raul Valdez Jr.'s user avatar
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Derech Eretz with animals?

Is it permitted to eat in front of animals? Eating in front of fellow human beings when they don't have food is considered a breach of Derech Eretz as it might make them hungry, or repulse them, or ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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Jewish table manners

I want to know if it's proper for a Jew to spit out bones or anything he doesn't want to swallow on top of the table he sits at.
Elhanan BenMichael's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
134 views

Sources that support not taking food from the table before the rabbi makes kiddush?

To me this seems like an obvious sense of basic respect to the community but it doesn't seem like everyone thinks as I do and looking for sources that support that this is a practice that should not ...
Dude's user avatar
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2 votes
1 answer
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Maintaining A Convert's Privacy

Bava Metzia 58b one is not allowed to remind a convert that they converted. However, they are given the name "Ben Avraham Avinu/bat Sarah Immenu" which makes them stand out and is a constant ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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2 votes
0 answers
190 views

Can wearing big tefillin be seen as yuhara?

I am interested in getting 4x4 tefillin in order to have more mehudar parshiyot, but I'm worried about wearing them in a kehila where they wear smaller tefillin. I'm especially concerned about wearing ...
DWeinstein's user avatar
2 votes
3 answers
317 views

Are men allowed to refer to another man's wife by her first name?

I heard a halacha a long time ago that men are not allowed to use the first name of a married woman who is not their wife. The suggestion I heard was to refer to her as Mrs. So-and-so. Does anyone ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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Halacha of not biting into a sandwich when someone else is eating with you

I have heard several times (including here) of a halacha (I believe I heard it is mentioned in a gemara) that discusses not taking a bite out of a sandwich when eating with others, as it may make them ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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Halacha of saying bracha while someone else has food in their mouth

I have heard it is forbidden to recite a bracha (loudly) when someone nearby has food in their mouth. I heard the reason is because they might choke when trying to say amen. I would also like to know ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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55 views

Accepting blame for someone else?

This is connected to my other question about malicious compliance, but a bit different. Imagine something goes wrong, and for whatever reason the blame falls on you even though it wasn't you, but you ...
Rabbi Kaii's user avatar
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Spitting on the ground

In an essay on how seeing others sin makes the sin seem acceptable to you, I read that when 20th-century Rabbi Elya Lopian first came to Eretz Yisrael, he refrained from spitting on the ground (as was ...
Maurice Mizrahi's user avatar
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0 answers
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Bowing at the royal coat of arms

In British Magistrate and Crown Courts the royal coat of arms is located behind the bench where the magistrates or judge sit. It is etiquette for solicitors/barristers and anyone giving evidence to ...
EliDov 's user avatar
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Why is mitzvah 611 not in The Six Constant Mitzvot? [duplicate]

Mitzvah 611 according to the Sefer HaChinuch is to walk in HaShem's ways. Sefaria writes: "The commandment to walk in - and make oneself similar through - the ways of God, may He be blessed:"...
Mordechai's user avatar
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Blocked Mailbox in Halacha

Someone lives on a busy street and often people park in a way that makes his mailbox inaccessible. Parking on that street is not illegal. However there is a clear sign at the mailbox that they ignore. ...
Gershon Gold's user avatar
8 votes
1 answer
3k views

One shouldn't drink water in front of others - but other drinks are OK - why?

Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 42:12 writes When you drink water, you should not drink in the presence of others, rather, turn your face away; but when drinking other liquids, you need not turn your face away....
mbloch's user avatar
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1 vote
1 answer
210 views

What is the source for non-literal understanding of V'Chai Bahem?

The concept of V'Chai Bahem - "do the mitzvos to live by them" (Vayikra 18:5) - is usually understood to refer to one's physical existence (i.e. the mitzvos should not be performed if they ...
user avatar
1 vote
2 answers
81 views

Lack of refinement – sourced examples other than eating in the market

Rav Wolbe in Alei Shur, p 396, speaking about the refinement needed for accepting the Torah quotes the gemoro in Kiddushim 40b that someone who eats in the marketplace is compared to a dog and some ...
Avrohom Yitzchok's user avatar
11 votes
3 answers
5k views

Can a fiance sleep at his in-law's?

Seems to be a minhag that a fiance shall not sleep at his future in-law's house. Even just as a guest for one night. And obviously, even if there is no problem of yichud. Is there a reference in ...
yO_'s user avatar
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5 votes
1 answer
253 views

"Laughing at" prominent rabbonim? [duplicate]

I encountered an interesting sugya today (Bava Qama 102b), in which we are told that, "in the west", the rabbonim laughed at the interpretation of Rabbi Yohanan. Presumably, this is a reference to ...
Shimon bM's user avatar
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Should a congregational rabbi resign based on "common public" accusations?

Last night, I found numerous articles published in many newspapers over the course of about the past decade regarding several students accusing a former Yeshiva principal who sexually abused them. The ...
DanF's user avatar
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5 votes
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141 views

Doesn't the Torah set the standard of politeness?

Two of the curses in Ki Tavo are: -You shall betroth a wife, and another man will rape her. [Deut. 28:30] -The Lord will strike you with... hemorrhoids. [Deut. 28:27] But the Talmud instructs us to ...
Maurice Mizrahi's user avatar
0 votes
1 answer
71 views

Book on Derech Eretz

As manners and etiquettes are also an important part of Judaism, are there websites or online books in English that discusses in detail all the important derech eretz laws?
Rh Haokip's user avatar
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8 votes
4 answers
593 views

Lighting Menorah in remembrance of our dear Jewish friend

We lost someone whom we loved dearly and we are also honoring the family's way of grieving. However, we'd like to light the Menorah we recently purchased in his memory this Dec 2nd. With much respect ...
I I's user avatar
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8 votes
2 answers
239 views

What should one do if he're not sure he counts toward the minyan?

Ploni is a convert or descendant of a female convert from denomination A. He wishes to join a minyan of denomination B, which is stricter. He is not sure whether the congregation considers the ...
Leopold says Reinstate Monica's user avatar
5 votes
2 answers
3k views

How are we supposed to interpret "Derech eretz kadma l'Torah"?

I'm having a lot of trouble understanding how we should interpret the pseudo-midrash "דרך ארץ קדמה לתורה", ~~ "Derech eretz should come before Torah." The actual text of the ...
SAH's user avatar
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2 votes
1 answer
114 views

Is there a problem of גניבת דעת (deception) when one is served a food and he dislikes the taste, and he says "This tastes delicious!"?

Is there a problem of גניבת דעת (deception) when one is served a food and he dislikes the taste, and he says "This tastes delicious!"? Although there is no absolute delicious, and to someone else it ...
RibbisRabbiAndMore's user avatar
6 votes
3 answers
389 views

Is there any rabbinical precedent, ancient or recent, to tell somebody that they are Jewish?

Is there any rabbinical precedent, ancient or recent, to tell somebody (for any reason) that they are Jewish (if such a person is unaware and does indeed have matrilineal Jewish descent)? Scenarios ...
ninamag's user avatar
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6 votes
0 answers
71 views

For the Sake of an Argument?

In the Mishna, Miqvaos 7:1, Rabbi Akiva quotes Rabbi Ishmael as having declared that snow does not count towards the completion of a mikva, but the people of Meibeba then testify that Rabbi Ishmael ...
Shimon bM's user avatar
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0 votes
2 answers
291 views

Title to use when addressing a rav

When speaking to the rav of a community, what title should one use? "Hello, Rabbi X" would surely be acceptable for someone with regular semicha, but perhaps not for a person who is referred to as "...
SAH's user avatar
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0 votes
1 answer
101 views

Mipne'i Sevah Taqum for potential Jew killer

There is a Biblical commandment to stand before the wise or elderly. Nevertheless, one full of sins is considered to have forfeited his honor and one is therefore absolved of the requirement to stand ...
Lee's user avatar
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21 votes
6 answers
44k views

"Anyone who saves a life is as if he saved an entire world": Jewish life or any life?

I am puzzled by the Mishnah's original text of the famous Jewish idea that "whoever saves one life [...] saves an entire world" (Sanhedrin 4:5). The English from sefaria.org reads thus: "It was for ...
SAH's user avatar
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0 votes
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why shuckel when davening? [duplicate]

When we are davening we are speaking to Hashem, Malchei Hamlachim. How is it appropriate to shuckel and/or swing ones hands? One is executed for motioning in front of the King.
Dude's user avatar
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0 votes
1 answer
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Star of David necklace [duplicate]

My mother went to Israel and just came back. She's Catholic and went to Israel to see the Holy Land. She came back and gave me a star of David. She said it was blessed. I am Catholic myself and ...
Daniel's user avatar
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7 votes
1 answer
354 views

If I have behaved badly, should I hide the fact that I'm Jewish?

If, G-d forbid, a Jew should behave badly in public (anything from simply doing something quite embarrassing, to being rude, to making a scene/causing a disturbance, to actually [ch"v] committing a ...
SAH's user avatar
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2 votes
3 answers
228 views

How do I refuse nonreligious guest's salad?

I invited a non-religious guest over for a meal. I insisted that they don't need to bring any food with them. But they said they're going to bring a salad. I told them it isn't necessary but they ...
Lord of Hosts's user avatar
9 votes
1 answer
480 views

Is it acceptable to make someone feel uncomfortable because they have inadvertently done something that you consider undesirable?

Background This question was inspired by the comments (now deleted) under another question. My sister in Williamsburg Brooklyn noticed that Orthodox male strangers were glaring at her for unknown ...
Wad Cheber's user avatar
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6 votes
2 answers
237 views

Washing for bread at work: how to avoid interruptions

I occasionally bring a sandwich to eat for lunch at work. The company has a small kitchen where I go to wash my hands, and then I generally eat at my desk. Whenever I have bread, I always try to wait ...
Daniel's user avatar
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4 votes
4 answers
1k views

Is it permissible to cheat at board games?

Board games have absolutely no value - there is nothing won and nothing lost. In such a situation is it permissible according to halakhah to cheat? I am asking, not to find a reason to be deceitful ...
user avatar
7 votes
1 answer
803 views

Is it permitted to eat boogers?

I apologize for the question. but is it permitted to eat ones boogers? possibility of blood? is it Baal Teshakzu? totally permitted similar to nail biting? and would it be forbidden on shabbos?
user avatar
3 votes
2 answers
620 views

When one is home alone, does the Torah discourage the eating of bizarre food mixtures?

Note: If you're going to be eating a meal soon, you might not want to read this question, and you (especially) might not want to click through to the "Secretive food concocting" Wikipedia article. Why?...
tealhill supports Monica's user avatar