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Questions tagged [derech-eretz-manners]

Literally "the way of the land," in this case, "Derech Eretz" refers to good manners.

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Book on Derech Eretz

As manners and etiquettes are also an important part of Judaism, are there websites or online books in English that discusses in detail all the important derech eretz laws?
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523 views

Lighting Menorah in remembrance of our dear Jewish friend

We lost someone whom we loved dearly and we are also honoring the family's way of grieving. However, we'd like to light the Menorah we recently purchased in his memory this Dec 2nd. With much respect ...
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133 views

What should one do if he're not sure he counts toward the minyan?

Ploni is a convert or descendant of a female convert from denomination A. He wishes to join a minyan of denomination B, which is stricter. He is not sure whether the congregation considers the ...
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How are we supposed to interpret “Derech eretz kadma l'Torah”?

I'm having a lot of trouble understanding how we should interpret the pseudo-midrash "דרך ארץ קדמה לתורה", ~~ "Derech eretz should come before Torah." The actual text of the midrashic source is: ...
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What does “One should not be awake among the sleeping, nor shall he sleep among the awake” require?

It is stated in Derech Eretz Zuta 5:2 - מסכת דרך ארץ זוטא ה-ב and cited by the Be'er Heitev in OC 170:16 לא יהא אדם ער בין הישנים, ולא ישן בין הערים. ולא בוכה בין השוחקים, ולא שוחק בין הבוכים....
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Is there a problem of גניבת דעת (deception) when one is served a food and he dislikes the taste, and he says “This tastes delicious!”?

Is there a problem of גניבת דעת (deception) when one is served a food and he dislikes the taste, and he says "This tastes delicious!"? Although there is no absolute delicious, and to someone else it ...
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Is there any rabbinical precedent, ancient or recent, to tell somebody that they are Jewish?

Is there any rabbinical precedent, ancient or recent, to tell somebody (for any reason) that they are Jewish (if such a person is unaware and does indeed have matrilineal Jewish descent)? Scenarios ...
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For the Sake of an Argument?

In the Mishna, Miqvaos 7:1, Rabbi Akiva quotes Rabbi Ishmael as having declared that snow does not count towards the completion of a mikva, but the people of Meibeba then testify that Rabbi Ishmael ...
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2answers
199 views

Title to use when addressing a rav

When speaking to the rav of a community, what title should one use? "Hello, Rabbi X" would surely be acceptable for someone with regular semicha, but perhaps not for a person who is referred to as "...
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1answer
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Mipne'i Sevah Taqum for potential Jew killer

There is a Biblical commandment to stand before the wise or elderly. Nevertheless, one full of sins is considered to have forfeited his honor and one is therefore absolved of the requirement to stand ...
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“Anyone who saves a life is as if he saved an entire world”: Jewish life or any life?

I am puzzled by the Mishnah's original text of the famous Jewish idea that "whoever saves one life [...] saves an entire world" (Sanhedrin 4:5). The English from sefaria.org reads thus: "It was for ...
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why shuckel when davening? [duplicate]

When we are davening we are speaking to Hashem, Malchei Hamlachim. How is it appropriate to shuckel and/or swing ones hands? One is executed for motioning in front of the King.
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Star of David necklace [duplicate]

My mother went to Israel and just came back. She's Catholic and went to Israel to see the Holy Land. She came back and gave me a star of David. She said it was blessed. I am Catholic myself and ...
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If I have behaved badly, should I hide the fact that I'm Jewish?

If, G-d forbid, a Jew should behave badly in public (anything from simply doing something quite embarrassing, to being rude, to making a scene/causing a disturbance, to actually [ch"v] committing a ...
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3answers
163 views

How do I refuse nonreligious guest's salad?

I invited a non-religious guest over for a meal. I insisted that they don't need to bring any food with them. But they said they're going to bring a salad. I told them it isn't necessary but they ...
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1answer
387 views

Is it acceptable to make someone feel uncomfortable because they have inadvertently done something that you consider undesirable?

Background This question was inspired by the comments (now deleted) under another question. My sister in Williamsburg Brooklyn noticed that Orthodox male strangers were glaring at her for unknown ...
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2answers
154 views

Washing for bread at work: how to avoid interruptions

I occasionally bring a sandwich to eat for lunch at work. The company has a small kitchen where I go to wash my hands, and then I generally eat at my desk. Whenever I have bread, I always try to wait ...
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4answers
812 views

Is it permissible to cheat at board games?

Board games have absolutely no value - there is nothing won and nothing lost. In such a situation is it permissible according to halakhah to cheat? I am asking, not to find a reason to be deceitful ...
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1answer
271 views

Is it permitted to eat boogers?

I apologize for the question. but is it permitted to eat ones boogers? possibility of blood? is it Baal Teshakzu? totally permitted similar to nail biting? and would it be forbidden on shabbos?
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2answers
339 views

When one is home alone, does the Torah discourage the eating of bizarre food mixtures?

Note: If you're going to be eating a meal soon, you might not want to read this question, and you (especially) might not want to click through to the "Secretive food concocting" Wikipedia article. Why?...
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Photography of synagogues on Shabbat?

Recently, I was on vacation in Asia, and was walking through a district on a Saturday afternoon. I noticed that there was a synagogue in the area, which appeared to have some architectural features ...
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Minyan in public area

If a minyan is in a public hallway, blocking an exit at the end of that hallway, does the minyan have any halachic status to stop non Jews or women from walking through to reach that exit? This ...
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1answer
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Are we obligated to apologize to gentiles? [closed]

A friend of mine told me we don't have the obligation to apologize to a gentiles. Is this true?
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2answers
183 views

Gedolim and Sever Panim Yafos

I have seen many video's of gedolei Torah and very often when they greet someone they don't smile or look very excited. This is even when the person comes to the gadol's house. I wondered how to ...
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6answers
3k views

Is there a reason to cover your yawn?

My 9th grade Rebbi told us that we have to cover our mouths when we yawn to avoid evil spirits entering our bodies. Is there any source that says this? If not, is there any other Jewish reason, ...
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2answers
89 views

May one complain to G-d?

Is one allowed to be angry with G-d about misfortunes and pray to G-d in a complaining, or even insolent manner? In Brachot 31b, we see that Chana spoke insolently toward G-d. However, I heard from ...
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6answers
3k views

Polite way to break up with a chavrusa?

I've been learning with someone for quite some time, but it just hasn't seem to be working out. There are too many interruptions, he seems to space out a lot, and not much progress is made with the ...
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5answers
495 views

Sources to encourage returning s'farim to their places

Hanging signs saying the above was not enough to make people in my synagogue put back the s'farim they have used into the bookcases. What other mitzvos could I bring on my next edition of the signs?
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3answers
918 views

Okay to address a rabbi with “you”?

I find it awkward to constantly say "Rabbi" instead of "you" while in a conversation. For example: "Hello Rabbi. I once spoke with the Rabbi regarding X. The Rabbi said Y. I think that the Rabbi ...
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1answer
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Source for quote about a slight wrong being a serious matter

I heard someone quote an Avos D’Rabbi Noson which said, “If you have done your fellow man a slight wrong, let it be a serious matter in your eyes… but it you have done him much good, let it be a ...
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Is it yuhara to wear a different tallit pattern?

Assume that one is davening in a very homogeneous community, would it be yuhara to wear say, an all-white tallit when everyone else wears black-striped ones? Similarly (should I seperate this into ...
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2answers
191 views

Saying “thank you” before taking a bite

The halacha as codified by Shulchan Aruch O.C. 167:6 is that if one interrupts between making Hamotzi and eating the bread, as long as the interruption is related to the meal (not just to eating the ...
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1answer
124 views

LOR and sinat chinam or lashon hara

Recently the rav at my local schul made a highly innapropriate remark on Facebook which would be considered lashon hara as well as sinat chinam. As the schul is a shlichut of Chabad (it is the only ...
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1answer
423 views

Speaking to a Rabbi in the Third Person

Is there a source for requiring one to refer to his Rabbi in the third person and not referring to a rabbi in the second person (i.e. "you")? I can not recall any reference to this requirement in ...
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8answers
6k views

Does Jewish tradition indicate that Jewish people tend to be rude?

From what I've seen many non-Jews have a stereotype of Jewish people as being rude and greedy. Is there a Jewish source (from the Bible, Talmud, Midrash, Zohar, or classic Torah commentators) that ...
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1answer
237 views

Leaving the room during a kabbalistic dvar Torah

We learn from Maran HaRav Ovadia Yosef Z"l, as well as R' Hamburger Shlit"a, and the rest of the non-Chassidic, non-Lurianic world that it is improper for one unlearned in sha"s and halachah to learn ...
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2answers
3k views

Can I still wear my Star of David?

My mother is Jewish but my father is Christian and I was raised in the Christian church, but I still have a lot of respect for my Jewish heritage. Would it be wrong to wear a Star of David necklace, ...
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1answer
59 views

Is there a guide from Arizal concerning the reaction to an insult?

Is there a guide, or some set of guidelines, in Arizal, concerning how to react to insults?
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1answer
73 views

Pushing and shoving Lesheim Shamayim

I have many times seen what appeared to be disrespectful pushing and shoving to get to kiss the Sefer Torah or the rebbe's hand. When inquiring about it, I was told that it shows devotion to the Torah ...
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3answers
650 views

December 25 Greetings

Is it permitted say any of the following to a Christian colleague: 1) Merry Christmas 2) Happy Xmas 3) Happy Holidays I am specifically referring to initiating a greeting not responding to such a ...
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1answer
253 views

Riches found in a purchased item. Return or keep it?

A young rabbi reportedly found nearly $100,000 in a desk he'd purchased second-hand on Craigslist, and subsequently returned the money. Is this story about a Kiddush HaShem, or a Hassid Shoteh (...
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2answers
274 views

The silence of the Rabbis — Should they have defended Bar Kamtza?

In Gittin 55b-56a, we read that a fellow named Bar Kamtza was humiliated by a host of a party in public view of all, including the rabbis. Bar Kamtza received an invitation to the party by mistake, ...
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5answers
369 views

Saying Rishonim or Achronim were “wrong”

People are very careful (and rightfully so) to say when they don't understand the words of the Achronim or Rishonim to not say they are/were "wrong". But rather to say "I don't understand what he ...
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1answer
141 views

Eating whole foods — like sandwiches and pizza

Where does it say that one shouldn't eat foods like sandwiches or pizza and hold the food in one's hand and bring it towards there face, but should rather eat in smaller bites or with a knife and fork....
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6answers
1k views

Can you pick your nose?

Is it a violation of halakah to pick your nose (unrefined act, possibly a violation of being a holy nation)? Would there be a difference in halakah if it were the sabbath (possible violation of ...
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0answers
63 views

Best practices for long-distance Nihum Aveilim and Kavod HaMeith

What are some best practices for people who learn from afar of the passing of an individual (not immediate family) and who want show their respects to the deceased and the surviving family? If they ...
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1answer
551 views

Tefilin and clothes

Is there is any "dress code" or limitation regarding what to wear (I mean at the minimum) when the time comes to put on the tefelin? I see many people putting them on wearing pajamas for example... I ...
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1answer
391 views

Why call so many olim “moreinu”?

I davened in a couple of different Chassidish shuls over the past few days, and in two different places (Tenka and Munkacs), I noticed that nearly all men who were called up for an aliya were ...
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1answer
92 views

How may one respond to someone who habitually posts off-topic on a mailing list?

A long-time member of a mailing list posts many off-topic messages, ranging from a couple a month to several a week, and rarely posts on-topic. This behavior frustrates some members of the list ...
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1answer
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May I publish correspendence received from a corporation?

I understand that there are ethical and possibly halachic issues with publishing a letter or piece of email that I receive from another person without explicit permission. What are the considerations ...