I get that giving the ring and saying "harei at mekudeshet li etc" fulfills the kiddushin component of a Jewish Wedding, but when/ what/ how exactly is the nisuin component fulfilled under the chuppah?

Is the nisuin done differently now vs during the times of the gemara when the kiddushin & nisuin were done many months apart?

1 Answer 1


See Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 55:1 (translation from Sefaria):

הארוסה אסורה לבעלה מדברי סופרים כל זמן שהיא בבית אביה והבא על ארוסתו בבית חמיו מכין אותו מכת מרדות: הגה ואפי' בייחוד אסורים ולכן ארוס שהוא עם ארוסתו בבית א' מברכין ז' ברכות פן יתייחדו (מרדכי פ"ק דכתובות) וי"א דאין להם לדור ביחד שלא יקוצו זה בזה (כל בו) ואפי' בשדוכין בלא אירוסין יש לחוש (חידושי אגודה פרק קמא דכתובות) אפילו אם קדשה בביאה אסור לו לבא עליה ביאה שניה בבית אביה עד שיביא אותה לתוך ביתו ויתייחד עמה ויפרישנה לו ויחוד זה הוא הנקרא כניסה לחופה והיא הנקרא נישואין בכל מקום והבא על ארוסתו לשם נשואין אחר שקידשה משיערה בה קנאה ונעשית נשואה והרי היא כאשתו לכל דבר וצריך לברך ברכת חתנים בבית החתן קודם הנישואין:‏

הגה וי"א דחופה אינו יחוד אלא כל שהביאה החתן לביתו לשם נשואין (כ"כ הר"ן בשי"א ריש כתובות) וי"א שהחופה היא שפורסין סודר על ראשה בשעת הברכה (הב"י הביאו) וי"א דחופת בתולה משיצאה בהינומא ואלמנה משנתייחדו (תוס' פ"ק דיומא) והמנהג פשוט עכשיו לקרות חופה מקום שמכניסין יריעה פרוסה על גבי כלונסות ומכניסין תחתיה החתן והכלה ברבים ומקדשה שם ומברכין שם ברכת ארוסין ונשואין ואח"כ מוליכים אותם לביתם ואוכלין ביחד במקום צנוע וזה החופה הנוהגת עכשיו ע' לקמן סי' ס"ב סעיף ט' וסימן ס':‏

One who is merely engaged is forbidden to her husband according to the rabbis while she is still in her father's house, and one who has relations with his fiancee in his father-in-laws house receives lashes from the rabbis. [Rema: They are even forbidden to be secluded and therefore if an engaged couple are living together, they say the seven brachot lest they become secluded (Mordechai First Chapter of Ketubot). There are those who say they should not live together lest they become repulsed by one another]. Even with couples that are not engaged there is concern, even if they became engaged through relations, he cannot sleep with her a second time in her father's house until he brings her into his house, is secluded with her and separates her for himself, and this seclusion is known as entering into the Chuppah and it is called marriage in all places. One who sleeps with his fiancee for the purposes of marriage after he engaged her, once he enters her he has acquired her and she is married to him and is his wife, and they must say the Groom's blessings in the grooms house before the marriage.

[Rema: There are those who say that the chuppah is not considered seclusion rather the groom must bring her into his house for the purposes of marriage (Thus says the Ran at the beginning of Ketubot) And there are those who say that the Chuppah is when they spread a cloth over her head at the time of the blessing, and there are those who say that a virgin's chuppah is when she goes out in a headdress and for a widow when they become secluded. The simple custom nowadays to call the chuppah a place where they place a cloth on poles and bring the groom and bride underneath in public and he engages her there and they say the blessings of engagement and marriage and then they walk them to their house and they eat together in a secluded places, this is how the chuppah is done now.]

Today's custom: we basically follow exactly what the Rama says in the above link [ie groom must bring her into his house, spreading a cloth over her head at the time of the blessing, say blessings of engagement/ marriage under the chuppah], but we generally use a mix of everything to cover all bases. Many weddings do a badeiken which according to some is also considered a form of nisuin. We also go under a canopy which represents the husbands domain. Sefardim use a talis which also represents the husband taking his wife into his domain. Then after the chuppah the couple goes into a yichud room in order to satisfy the opinion that the couple needs to be secluded alone in a place where relations can happen.

Additional mekoros of what exactly constitutes nisuin (from YU Student Organization):

enter image description here

  • Thanks! ... but not sure if this answers my question. The kiddushin is the ring/ harei at. What exactly comprises the nisuin that takes place afterwards?
    – alicht
    Jan 7, 2019 at 3:03
  • 1
    And if you should ask how can chuppah happen before kiddushin,meaning the couple come to the chuppah first and then harei at is said,this question was dealt with by many,and its a machlokes ,some are even midayek in the bracha which says chuppah v'kiddushin to hint to us that the order is of no consequence, but as mentuoned before this is debatable
    – sam
    Jan 7, 2019 at 3:38
  • Thank you so much! Can you possibly point me in the direction of said mekoros?
    – alicht
    Jan 7, 2019 at 3:42
  • Mekoros for what ,the Rishonim on the different types of nisuin,or mekoros for nisuin before kiddushin?
    – sam
    Jan 7, 2019 at 3:47
  • 1
    If you have access to a Rambam Ishus 10:2 ,it is the Mishna L'melech (commentary on the Rambam) who brings the opinion that chuppah first would work,he qoutes the Ramban,and others I believe.
    – sam
    Jan 7, 2019 at 3:54

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .