This is a serious question seeking sources that discuss the topic.

  1. I speculate that a father that regrets his son being born, does not support him, does not teach him Torah or Mitzvos etc., is considered "תוהא על הראשונות" (Rambam: one that regrets doing a Mitzvah is not rewarded for it.) may somehow lose his right to Kibud Av of the child.

  2. Maybe serious child abuse or even rape can suffice.

Any sources or thoughts on this?

  • "On the day that I was born, Daddy sat down and cried..."--Robert Hunter/Jerry Garcia
    – Gary
    Dec 23, 2018 at 23:43
  • Even a mamzer has to honor his parents, so the answer’s probably “no.”
    – DonielF
    Dec 24, 2018 at 2:05
  • 1
    @donielF a rasha is diff,see my answer
    – sam
    Dec 24, 2018 at 2:36
  • זכור... כבד. Shabbat
    – kouty
    Dec 24, 2018 at 8:37

2 Answers 2


The Shulchan Aruch 240:18 discusses a father who is a Rasha. The Mechaber holds that there is Kibud av by a Rasha (not defined), but Ram"a argues.

ממזר חייב בכבוד אביו ובמוראו. אפילו היה אביו רשע ובעל עבירות – מכבדו ומתיירא ממנו.

הגה: ויש אומרים דאינו מחוייב לכבד אביו רשע, אלא אם כן עשה תשובה.
(טור ומרדכי פרק "כיצד", ובהגהות מיימוני פרק שישי דהלכות ממרים.)

There is a very good Hakira article on this subject.

  • 2
    Good answer, +1. Consider summarizing some of the points in the article. Dec 24, 2018 at 5:10
  • 1. Thank you. 2. Do we say then that Sefardim honor anyway and Ashkenazis are exempt? :) How does יש אמרים value? I read Tur but he sounds very distant - a very weak proof (from a stolen cow...). 2.5 A very serious (albeit a bit biased) article. I also think it's worth to try to summarize it to the answer would be full and exhaustive.
    – Al Berko
    Dec 24, 2018 at 12:00

I think one can shed light on this issue by examining the sources regarding the term "honor" (sometimes translated also as "respect").

No where does it say to love, appreciate, etc etc. In fact I heard one Rabbi asked by a woman, what if the situation is so tense that every time she tries talking to her mother, things get dicey, and it seems her mother doesn't even want to talk to her. The rabbi's response: you honor her by NOT talking to her...

So yes, honor is required; but look closely at what practical implications this has in halacha.

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .