Is there a source that says that someone has to be with a mourner at all times from when he is asked to leave the shul before Lechu Neranena. As I understand the shamash/ warden asks him to leave and then calls him back before Mizmor Shir.... ha shabbos.

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1 Answer 1


No one needs to be outside with the mourner. I haven't seen anyone stay with the mourner anywhere that I have been. There's also nothing in the picture stating this is needed.

In a sense, Kabbalat Shabbat is a "mix". Technically, men do not accept Shabbat until they say the song for the Shabbat day. This explains in part why the mourner is asked to wait outside - because he is still allowed to mourn.

For the others in the congregation, Kabbalat Shabbat is a joyous prayer that greets the Shabbat queen, and is a "preparation" for Shabbat acceptance. Thus, in a way, if a congregant sat with the mourner, in a slight sense, he is mourning on Shabbat, which is a contradiction for him.

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    How would the congregant be mourning by sitting outside with the mourner? Either it's before sundown and they can both mourn since they haven't accepted Shabbat or it's after sundown and neither can be outwardly doing anything mourning related like sitting outside
    – Double AA
    Dec 11, 2018 at 3:05
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    "Technically, men do not accept Shabbat" - do you mean this for an early Shabbat? Otherwise Shabbat comes on its own doesn't it?
    – mbloch
    Dec 11, 2018 at 5:02
  • Thanks for the responses. For some reason in the back of my mind there is an inyan of someone guarding a avel during shiva likewise a chosson and kallah Seven days before wedding. Unless I”m completely mixed things up. Or could it be Shul’s started to think that it’s a nice idea for someone to be with an avel during their time of grief aka pastoral care? And there is no Halachik implications of someone being with an avel. Dec 11, 2018 at 11:27
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    @DoubleAA I didn't realize this, thanks. In Israel most shuls I saw pray minha after candle lighting time, therefore start Kabalat Shabbat after the shkia
    – mbloch
    Dec 11, 2018 at 12:33
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    @mbloch you could say it on Tuesday if you wanted to, it's just Tehillim, but that's not the intended use. It's meant as an expression of Tosefet Shabbat and being ready early as Kavod Shabbat
    – Double AA
    Dec 11, 2018 at 12:34

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