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I am not sure what the extent is of honoring your parents after their death. Do you have to honor all their wishes (except for those that violate Torah law, which you would need to disobey even while they are alive.)

A specific example:

A parent tells you not to be in contact with someone because they harmed the parent in some way (financially, emotionally or physically.) Do you have to follow these wishes? Does it matter if your parent tells you to cease contact with a sibling or other relative (unlce) or if it was a friend of your parent?

  • Note the sugya of מצוה לקיים דברי המת in Kesubos. Also the general concept of listening to parents seems to stem from mora av. The question would be does this mitzvah apply after death, which I don't think it does (at least not as much). – robev Apr 13 '18 at 22:36
  • I heard from Rav Tzvi Berkowitz that מצוה לקיים דברי המת is only for monetary things, meaning how to spend their property that's being bequeathed. Although I may be remembering wrong. – robev Apr 13 '18 at 22:37
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    "A parent tells you not to be in contact with someone because they harmed the parent in some way (financially, emotionally or physically.) Do you have to follow these wishes?" Are you assuming you have to in the parent's life? That's not necessarily the case afaik. See e.g. judaism.stackexchange.com/a/28363 – msh210 Apr 14 '18 at 18:05
  • @msh210 I assume that during their lifetime, you do have to obey them (though, I'm not sure if this involves siblings.) My question is specifically regarding following refraining from contact after they have died. – DanF Apr 15 '18 at 3:42

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