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Thanks to my friend, David, who suggested this one to me, yesterday.

Bemidbar 21:14 mentions a book called 'מלחמות ה - The Book of G-d's Wars.

I'd like to buy this book, but I can't seem to locate it on Amazon on eBay or any other bookstore. It's not in Costco (though, I think I'd have to buy a 3-pack of them, there), BJ's, Barnes & Nobles, or another book store. I haven't seen it in a library. Feldheim, Art Scroll and the other Jewish book stores / sites, don't seem to carry it, either.

Does anyone know where I can buy this book? Has it been translated into English or yeshivish by anyone? How much does it cost, typically?


This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

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From Wikipedia:

The Book of the Wars of the Lord is one of several non-canonical books referenced in the Bible which have now been completely lost.

Sorry, but it looks like the book is out of print now. You could always contact a university library and see if they have a copy in their reference section.

I've fortunately read the book; I borrowed it from a friend named Yehoshua. B''N I'll ask him next time I see him if I can lend the book out to you. I don't know when I'll see him next, though. Last time we met he said he might not see me until techias hameisim.

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    Nun's son ? Great guy ! – Noach MiFrankfurt Feb 26 '18 at 15:58
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    @NoachMiFrankfurt You know him? It's a small world after all! – ezra Feb 26 '18 at 15:59
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    Yeah, he wrote my brother's bar miztvah haftarah ! He also helped my cousin Moish a few times ! – Noach MiFrankfurt Feb 26 '18 at 16:01
  • @NoachMiFrankfurt That's amazing! Have you seen him recently? I've seemed to have lost his phone number. If you see him, ask him if you can borrow the book from him. – ezra Feb 26 '18 at 16:04
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    Not to fall into lashan harah here, but you don't want to get on that guy's bad side, I was once asked to represent the heirs of some Amelekites and a condo board in Jerico in a suit against him...long story short, get out of his way! – Josh K Feb 26 '18 at 18:27
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You’re in luck. It’s available on HebrewBooks.org.

There are also plenty of other versions available. One of the easiest to find is generally printed together with the Rif.

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  • Is this is serious answer or a joke? – Scimonster Feb 26 '18 at 16:46
  • @scimonster I intended it as an (admittedly dry) joke. I can explain if you want, but that will probably ruin it... – Joel K Feb 26 '18 at 16:49
  • You may as well explain, because i don't get the joke part. – Scimonster Feb 26 '18 at 16:50
  • @scimonster I purposely misunderstood the question, which asked where to find the no-longer extant book referred to in Bamidbar, as asking about other, extant books of the same name, and answered accordingly. – Joel K Feb 26 '18 at 16:56
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The reason that you can't get it is that it has been declared forbidden by no less than the great R. Isaac ben Sheshet. In a responsum (Shu"t Rivash siman 45) he mentions several problematic statements and refers to them as "דברים שאסור לשומעם" – things that one is forbidden to listen to. He then writes "כל זה בספרו קראו מלחמות השם" – all these things are in his book called Milchamos Hashem.

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