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As per Rashi's commentary on Bereshit 35:22, Reuven did not actually lay with Bilhah, rather, he simply moved Ya'akov's couch. On this account, Reuven sinned and was deprived of firstborn status:

וישכב AND HE LAY — Because he had disturbed his couch Scripture accounts it to him as though he had actually sinned in this manner. But why did he disturb his couch? When Rachel died Jacob removed to Bilhah’s tent and Reuben came and protested against the slight thus inflicted on his mother (Leah). He said: “If my mother’s sister was her rival, is that any reason why the handmaid of my mother’s sister should become a rival to her!” On this account he disturbed the couch (Shabbat 55b). (https://www.sefaria.org/Genesis.35.22?lang=bi&with=Rashi&lang2=en)

Now, I am the firstborn son in my family, and I am renovating my father's house while he is away. When it comes time to redo the flooring in my father's bedroom, will I be sinning if I move the bed for this purpose? Further complicating matters, we are kohenim (and therefore B'nai Leah), my mother is a Bat Yirsael, and my father is remarried.


This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

closed as off-topic by Double AA Mar 4 '18 at 0:39

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    Was this downvoted because you didn't find it funny? Or because I am pretending to ask for rabinnical advice (which is part of the jesting BTW) – Josh K Feb 20 '18 at 22:11
  • Even though this is PTIJ, can you explain the relevance of your last sentence (Kohanim, etc.) to the rest of your question? – DanF Feb 20 '18 at 22:49
  • I don't see how this will tend to encourage good answers. A silly post doth not a Purim torah question make. – Double AA Feb 21 '18 at 0:53
  • @JoshK because I didn't find it funny. But that's just my opinion. (Don't worry, you're not alone, at least 4 people don't find me funny in judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/89548/…) – רבות מחשבות Feb 21 '18 at 2:07
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    @DanF To explain a joke is to kill it (although having to explain a joke often means it wasn't a good joke to begin with), but here goes: during Ya'akov's lifetime there was tremendous rivalry first between Rachel and Leah as sister-wives and rivals, and then between the sons they (and their handmaidens) bore Ya'akov. The reason the kohenim part is included is because we are thus descendants of Leah and thus I would be more likely to be suspected of reenacting Reuven's sin than, say, a Benjaminite. – Josh K Feb 21 '18 at 6:28
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Did you say you would be doing renovations? You will be sinning if you renovate your father's house without a

ZECHER L'CHURBAN.

Each Room -- Some poskim maintain that an amah by amah should be made in every room of one’s house.24 What to do? -- One should peel a piece of paint or plaster from the wall.27 [...] One who puts up wallpaper (and does not paint) is also obligated to leave a part of the wall unfinished.3 [...] One who renovates to the bare walls and re-builds from scratch would be obligated to leave a zecher l’churban.36 (source)

As for the floors, we say "lo plug"; that is, as with the walls, "do not plug up the floors [completely]," but rather leave a zecher l'churban.

Did you think about this at all??


Now, on to your other question, of

MOVING THE BED.

I'm sorry to say it, but you will be sinning according to all authorities if you even touch it.

Let us examine the issue closely.

  1. According to the Arizal in Shaar Hamitzvos Bereishis, the bed must be oriented with the head by the east and feet by the west.

  2. According to the Rameh in M”A 3/7 and M”B 3/11, the head is to be by the west and feet by the east.

  3. According to the Shulchan Aruch (OC 3:6, 240:17), it is forbidden to orient the bed from east to west in either direction. The bed must be aligned north to south.

  4. It is also important that one's feet not face the door. However, one's head may not face the door either.

The question of correct bed orientation is discussed by the Shulchan Aruch, the Talmud, the Zohar, Rashi, Tosfot, Rambam, Mishna Berura, Kaf Hachaim and tons of others, and the differences of opinion are, according to the שו״ת וישב הים, "irreconcilable." Therefore the only solution is not to sleep in a bed nor (ever!) to move one.

And finally. Did your father give you permission to "renovate" his house while he is away?

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    And here I thought renovating my dad's place was a mitzvah! Good thing @SAH was here to set me straight – Josh K Mar 9 '18 at 19:06
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    @JoshK Anytime :) – SAH Mar 9 '18 at 20:53

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