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I heard that Tosfos says that there is a custom for hosts to give gifts to their guests. Does anyone know where this Tosfos is? Also, do you know why we no longer have this custom? Do any communities still have this custom for Halachic reasons?

  • Can you narrow down what type of "host" you mean? For the most part, I think that someone who invites you to their home for a meal is already giving you a gift. A hotel / inn host, where you are paying them for use of the room is a different situation. Is a restaurant owner considered a "host"? Often, s/he's not even there when you eat. – DanF Jan 2 '18 at 23:21
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    I'm surprised that this is an idea mentioned by Tosfot. If anything, in Talmud Megilah 26a, the opposite is learned that guests should leave something for the host. Additionally, Avot Derav Nattan (have to locate where, exactly,) suggests that one should not be accustomed to invite himself to a host's home as that places pressure on the host to feed and accommodate him. – DanF Jan 2 '18 at 23:54
  • @DanF Not relevant at all. In the Gemara in Megillah that was in lieu of rent because it was Assur to charge for the space, only for the bed. And the fact that it was an imposition, this is an imposition... – Eliyahu Jan 3 '18 at 0:21
  • Sorry .. I don't understand your last sentence in the previous comment. – DanF Jan 3 '18 at 3:47
  • @DanF Maybe we're not on the same page. Can you explain your proof from Avos Derebbi Nassan? The way I understood it was that you were saying that that you shouldn't invite yourself over to someone's house because that is an imposition on the host. Whether the host gives a gift to the guest is irrelevant as to whether or not it is an imposition on the guest. – Eliyahu Jan 3 '18 at 4:01

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