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A woman that does not reveal her blemishes before marriage sometimes loses her kesuba (Rambam halacha 2 here, Shulchan Aruch here)

Does a man need to reveal his blemishes before marriage?

Sources please

  • Yes. There is a biblical obligation of vahavta lreakha kamokha. – mevaqesh Nov 19 '17 at 3:56
  • @mevaqesh I am asking if anything more then that, and maybe you are wrong see elitedaily.com/dating/979150 – hazoriz Nov 19 '17 at 3:59
  • More than a biblical obligation? – mevaqesh Nov 19 '17 at 4:00
  • @mevaqesh by a woman it there seems to be an additional obligation (to the biblical) or it is questionable if she is married, is there anything similar by a man? (that is what I am asking) – hazoriz Nov 19 '17 at 4:02
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    I don't see any evidence of any obligation. I see that if you fool someone he doesn't have to suffer the consequences. – mevaqesh Nov 19 '17 at 4:08
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Let's start by saying that every situation is different and, for any real shidduch, you will want to speak to a rav who knows the situation well.

This being said, R Yirmiyohu Kaganoff at yeshiva.co has a very nice summary of the issues. He frames it as follows:

  • Honesty (emet) requires one to be truthful in his dealings and one may not deceive someone about a shidduch by misinforming the other party - he notes however there might be allowances not to disclose everything to avoid creating disputes (machlokes), embarrassing someone or hurting a person’s feelings or reputation

  • Not misleading someone (geneivat daat) means not overselling one party in a shidduch or making false promises

  • Fraud (onaah) means one must notify the other party of information that might be of concern. He quotes Sefer Chassidim (507) that "do not hide medical issues from the other party to which they would object enough to decline the shidduch"

He also notes shidduchim are subject to some exceptions

  • One is not required to disclose a problem the other party could discover, e.g., if the scandalous activities of a family member are well known in one’s hometown, one need not tell the other party since this information could be discovered by asking around
  • Insignificant information: shidduchim do not require revealing every possible medical or yichus issue. The Chofetz Chaim distinguishes between a medical issue one must reveal and a "weakness," which one need not. Thus, someone need not reveal minor ailments that would not disturb the average person.

In most instances, there is no requirement to notify the other party or a shadchan of any of these blemishes at the time a shidduch is suggested. Many contemporary poskim contend that one should reveal this information after the couple has met a few times - about the time the relationship is beginning to get serious.

To come back to your question therefore, one has to disclose significant hidden blemishes that would be of concern to the other party once the relation gets serious.

See the original for sources and more examples.

See also a similar compilation from R Chaim Jachter with more sources and examples of blemishes to be disclosed (e.g., significant diseases, reproductive issues)

  • @DoubleAA see igros moshe 3- E"H 1- 79 and 80 – hazoriz Nov 19 '17 at 17:21
  • I wonder nobody mentioned the simplest thing the Kiddushin is based on - Mekakh Tous (מקח טעות). The kiddushin being a voluntary process is based on personal evaluation of the acquisition. A person can annul the Kiddushin if turns out it was a Mekakh Tous. The Mishna in Kiddushin deals with many forms of misleading conditions (like "Marry me for I'm rich and he's not" or the opposite) and many of them are subsequently annulled retroactively as based on Mekakh Tous - false premises. – Al Berko Nov 20 '17 at 0:31
  • @mbloch All three listed will not annul a marriage retroactively, only Mekakh Tous. – Al Berko Nov 20 '17 at 0:33
  • @AlBerko fraud is a mekach taus and would be retroactive. Your cases are specifically if the party makes the marriage conditional upon an issue being true. Then it is retroactively nullified. It seems the OP is dealing with regular shidduchim where no one expressed a conditional clause. – David Kenner Nov 20 '17 at 1:16
  • @AlBerko I hear you and agree - but the question was whether you have to reveal blemishes before marriage. Not what are the cases in which you can annul a marriage retroactively – mbloch Nov 20 '17 at 12:11

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