The arizal says that it is a big sin to have sex with a non jew. If someone had sex with one how can he repent for that?

  • 6
    As a general rule the solution to any sin is repentance. Proper repentance absolves all sins. Generally, repentance consists of regret at having performed the sin, a commitment not to repeat it, with a verbal confession to God often a component as well.
    – mevaqesh
    Commented May 18, 2016 at 16:27
  • 2
    Since you're asking based upon the arizal's p'sak regarding relations with a non-Jew, one would logically look at the Arizal's writings on repentance for advice on how to properly repent for such a sin. Regardless, Chazal says that death itself atones for sins that are not absolved by other punishments PROVIDED that the person repents the sin. Commented May 18, 2016 at 16:32
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    – mbloch
    Commented May 18, 2016 at 16:46
  • There is some story (which I dont believe) that a person repented and he knew it was accepted because the children he had from her mysteriously died.
    – newcomer
    Commented May 18, 2016 at 19:59
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    Please edit in a citation for your claims about what the Ari wrote.
    – Double AA
    Commented May 19, 2016 at 2:33

2 Answers 2


Rav Moshe Stern, the Debreciner Rav, has a responsum to a group of people who had repeated intercourse with various non-Jewish women. After dealing with a number of other issues (such as if wearing a condom during intercourse mitigates the prohibition in some way, and which particular transgressions were involved in that case), he concludes (Be'er Moshe 4:141-142, my summary/loose translation below):

על כן, ירבו בבכי ובחרטת הלב בלב שלם ויקבלו תעניות כפי כחם וה' הטוב יסלח להם. והעיקר הוא חרטת הלב והחלטה נחושה לבל ישובו חס ושלום אל כסלם...

Therefore, they should cry a lot and regret their actions sincerely, and they should accept fasts according to their strength, and Hashem the good should forgive them. The focal point should be the internal regret, and a concrete decision not to return, Chas Veshalom, to their silliness.


Reb Moshe has about 3 teshuvos on this sort of thing, I think he is discussing teshuvah for homosexuality as far as I remember.

The issue with having sex with a non-Jew is more a hapharas bris than an issur de'oraysah, in fact the rishonim are hard put to pinpoint exactly what the issur should be.

I.e. you have violated the integrity of the Jewish people.

The gra in his peirush on the safra ditzneusah says the bris hamaor is keneged the bris ha'lashon. I.e. the tikkun al pi kabalah for hapharas bris is to do mitzvos involving the mouth, such as learning Torah and not speaking lashon hara. Which is approximately what Reb Moshe says.

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    Can you cite these responsa of R Moshe?
    – Double AA
    Commented May 19, 2016 at 2:25

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