If visiting the kosel the morning of, say, one's wedding, should one tear kriyah? I am asking whether we should be in mourning for the temple even at a very joyous time. (My guess is yes, partly based on the ~fact that the groom breaks a glass at the chuppah in memory of the temple's destruction.)

Related: How to Tear Kriyah

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    Note many don't tear keriya upon seeing that wall as it doesn't have any holiness. Were you to see the temple mount thatd be a good question
    – Double AA
    Commented May 10, 2016 at 15:47
  • Related: judaism.stackexchange.com/q/40133
    – msh210
    Commented May 10, 2016 at 17:59

2 Answers 2


I think the answer is written in an actual verse:

Psalms 137, 5-6 אם-אשכחך ירושלים-- תשכח ימיני. תדבק-לשוני, לחיכי-- אם-לא אזכרכי: אם-לא אעלה, את-ירושלים-- על, ראש שמחתי

137:5 If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.

137:6 Let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I remember thee not; if I set not Jerusalem above my chiefest joy.

There are many customs to remember the destruction of Jerusalem, even at the actual wedding ceremony (groom has ashes put on his forehead, breaking the glass, etc.)

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    While I think that the "effect" of your answer is correct, namely, that one should make kriyah, the verse you cited is used to indicate that at a time of joy, one should remember Jerusalem. Thus, this is the reason for breaking a glass under the chuppa. It doesn't seem to support the idea that one should tear his clothes when visiting the Kotel, regardless of whether it's on a wedding day or any other time.
    – DanF
    Commented May 10, 2016 at 17:51
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    The question was whether we should mourn for the Temple even at a very joyous time. Yes, Jerusalem is above our greatest joy. The halacha regarding tearing kriya when visiting the kotel is a separate question (it is the halacha in the additions regarding Eretz Yisroel printed at the end of the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, IIRC).
    – Miriam
    Commented May 10, 2016 at 18:16

I think that you've answered your own question based on your parenthetical remarks.

Combining mourning and joy at the same event or day is quite common, actually. In Israel, for example, almost immediately following the joyous Simchat Torah dancing, they recite Yizkor. At one wedding that I attended, they said "Kel Maleh Rachamim" for terrorist victims in Israel, as there was a bus bombing on the day of the wedding. BTW, many wedding invitations include the names of deceased parents & grandparents (I did that on my invitation). So, in a sense, we combine joy and mourning. In your example, after kriyah, the bride and groom can and should change their clothes.

Further support, perhaps...

My wife's friend has been a congregational rabbi in several congregations for many years. He is Orthodox. He has told me numerous times that there are many days where in the morning, he wears a black suit, and goes to a funeral, makes a speech, and cries with the mourners. After 30 minutes, he leaves, goes home, puts on his bright suit, and leads a wedding, with a smile on his face. An hour later, back home, he puts on the black suit, and attends another funeral. OK, he's not doing kriyah, himself. But the point is, that obviously, switching between mourning & joy is possible and quite common.

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    What does wearing a black suit have to do with mourning?
    – Dude
    Commented May 10, 2016 at 18:03
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    @Dude The balck suit has nothing to do with mourning. I'm merely stating that the rabbi was able to quickly shift between mourning and joyous events quickly, and he changed his suit to fit the occasion. He didn't NEED to do this, for mourning or joy, per se. He did that as part of his job and presentation as a rabbi.
    – DanF
    Commented May 10, 2016 at 18:08

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