The Baal HaTanya writes regarding someone who hits another. I'll apply it to you: she must see it as her own free choice that she divorced you; but, you need to see it as if HaShem wanted this to occur to you. You can read it here it is a very beautiful piece from igeres hakodesh letter 25
והוא בהקדים מאמר רז״ל: כל הכועס, כאילו עובד עבודת כוכבים ומזלות
And this [will be understood] by first considering the teaching of our Sages, of blessed memory:7 “Whoever is in a rage resembles an idolater.
והטעם מובן ליודעי בינה
The reason [for this] is clear to those who8 “know un-derstanding,”
לפי שבעת כעסו, נסתלקה ממנו האמונה
because at the time of his anger, faith in G‑d and in His individual Divine Providence has left him.
כי אילו היה מאמין שמאת ה׳ היתה זאת לו, לא היה בכעס כלל
For were he to believe that what happened to him was G‑d’s doing, he would not be angry at all.
ואף שבן אדם, שהוא בעל בחירה, מקללו או מכהו או מזיק ממונו
True, it is a person possessed of free choice that is cursing him, or striking him, or causing damage to his property,
ומתחייב בדיני אדם ובדיני שמים על רוע בחירתו
and [therefore] guilty according to the laws of man and the laws of heaven for his evil choice.
The perpetrator for his part cannot plead innocence on the grounds that he is merely an instrument in the hands of Divine Providence.
אף על פי כן, על הניזק כבר נגזר מן השמים
Nevertheless, as regards the person harmed, this [incident] was already decreed in heaven,
והרבה שלוחים למקום
and9 “G‑d has many agents” through whom He can act.
Hence, even if the offending party had chosen otherwise, the incident would have befallen the victim in any case.
This discussion recalls the teaching of the Mechilta cited by Rashi on the verse,10 והאלקים אנה לידו — “and G‑d caused it to happen to him.” For to such a case the Mechilta applies the verse,11 “From evildoers there emerges evil.” This means that though it was decreed from above that someone should sustain an injury, G‑d brings it about that a particular person should inflict it.
That context, however, speaks of an unwitting injury. In the case of a potentially willful offender, if instead of choosing freely to act in an evil manner he chose to do otherwise, the event would still have occurred, for “G‑d has many agents,” as quoted above.
At any rate, it is thus clear that the victim has no cause to be angry with the offender, for the true cause of the offense was not him, but a heavenly decree.
The Alter Rebbe now takes this one step further: Not only does the heavenly decree give the offender an undefined potential to do harm, but moreover, the particular thought to do it and the power to do it, all come about from G‑d. (At the same time, since man has freedom of choice, he can of course choose to reject such a thought and refrain from doing such a deed.)
Anger thus remains unjustifiable. For the offended party is not angry that the other party made an evil choice; what angers him is the damage done to him. His anger thus results from his lack of belief that the true cause for his mishap is not a particular individual’s evil choice, but a heavenly decree.
And not only this, that a heavenly decree gave permission in principle and made it possible that he suffer injury,
אלא אפילו בשעה זו ממש, שמכהו או מקללו
but even at that very moment at which [the offender] strikes or curses him,
מתלבש בו כח ה׳ ורוח פיו יתברך, המחייהו ומקיימו
there is vested in him (in the offender) a force from G‑d and the breath of His mouth, which animates and sustains him;
וכמו שכתוב: כי ה׳ אמר לו, קלל
as it is written:12 “For G‑d told him, ‘Curse!’”
והיכן אמר לשמעי
Now where did He say so to Shimi? Where do we find it written that G‑d told him to curse David?
אלא שמחשבה זו, שנפלה לשמעי בלבו ומוחו, ירדה מאת ה׳
But this thought that occurred in Shimi’s heart and mind to curse David, descended from G‑d, Who was thus responsible for such a thought entering Shimi’s mind;
ורוח פיו, המחיה כל צבאם
and13 “the breath of His mouth, [which animates] all the hosts [of heaven],”
החיה רוחו של שמעי, בשעה שדיבר דברים אלו לדוד
animated the spirit of Shimi at the time he spoke those words to David.
כי אילו נסתלק רוח פיו יתברך רגע אחד מרוחו של שמעי, לא יכול לדבר מאומה
For if the breath of G‑d’s mouth had departed from the spirit of Shimi for a single moment, he could not have spoken at all.