As an orthodox Jew, I married another orthodox Jew. This is a second marriage and he has a son. Am I allowed to touch the boy, as his stepmother, after he reaches the age of 9?

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    Debra, this sounds like a question you need to ask your rabbi. See the sidebar - Mi Yodeya does not offer practical advice regarding halacha. Please feel free to edit your question into a generalized inquiry. Otherwise, we need to close this. Commented Mar 30, 2016 at 13:12
  • Since the details need to be explained by someone who knows you and your family, as well is an expert in the relevant halachos, you should consult a rav. Commented Mar 30, 2016 at 13:21
  • Debra, welcome to Mi Yodeya, and thanks very much for the interesting question! Unfortunately it got closed as MY thinks you are better served by a rav for very personal questions. But don't let that discourage you from continuing to learn with us. If you haven’t done so already, you should take a look at the tour. Please also consider registering your account, to enable more site features, including voting.
    – mbloch
    Commented Mar 30, 2016 at 18:06
  • And by the way a question phrased as "What are the rules of negia as it relates to stepsons or stepdaughters" would have much more chances of being answered. You can edit your question if you wish. You might also want to broaden it to the issue of yichud (being alone with the boy) which I think will be as much, if not more, delicate
    – mbloch
    Commented Mar 30, 2016 at 18:07

1 Answer 1


The question I've heard more often is an adopted child, and I'd assume the theory would be the same. Lo and behold, in that case some rabbis say yes and some say no.

Here's an mp3 from Rabbi Dovid Gottlieb addressing the question in cases of adoption.

I hope your blended family has much success and happiness.

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