The other day I read that during the exodus the Jews were commanded to take the blood of the Pesach and schmear it "on the two doorposts and the lentils, upon the houses wherein they shall eat it." (Ex. 12:7)

This seems to present a multitude of questions:

  1. Aren't lentils technically kitniyot, making their use on Pesach forbidden according to "Minhag Yisroel KiHalacha?"
  2. Why would Hashem command them to mix blood in their food and eat it - isn't eating blood forbidden?
  3. If they were required to throw out the spoiled food, wouldn't this constitute a violation of bal tashchis (wanton destruction of food)?
  4. What is the connection between the lentils and the doorposts - were the lentils supposed to be mixed with the blood and THEN schmeared on the doorposts?
  5. How is this supposed to protect them from the final plague?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

  • Seriously? why the downvote on a PTIJ question? if you've got a suggestion to improve the humor, please provide... – Isaac Kotlicky Mar 20 '16 at 17:00
  • 1
    Downvotes on Purim Torah generally mean "not funny". – Scimonster Mar 20 '16 at 21:09
  • @Scimonster i understand that, hence the second half of my comment... – Isaac Kotlicky Mar 20 '16 at 21:42
  • I didn't downvote, but it's not such a great pun. – Scimonster Mar 20 '16 at 21:46
  • Most good puns either are in the Hebrew word substituting for a similar word or transliterating a Hebrew word rather than translating it. This does neither but finds instead an English word that sounds the same as the real translation. – CashCow Mar 21 '16 at 12:13

Regarding question 1: This proves that we were all originally Sefardim. Thus we were allowed to eat Kitniyot on Pesach.

Regarding question 2: The verse is often mistranslated as blood. It says to take מִן-הַדָּם "MINADOM". MINADOM is actually a rare type of steak that is very tasty when eaten over a doorpost with lentils.

Regarding question 3: The verse says וְהַנֹּתָר מִמֶּנּוּ עַד-בֹּקֶר, בָּאֵשׁ תִּשְׂרֹפוּ which means anything left over in the morning has to be roasted in fire, not that it has to be wasted.

Regarding question 4 & 5: Those are too difficult to answer.

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