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While I have nothing against women or their attending shul on Shabbat or at any other time of the year, this Shabbat, in particular is שבת זכר , a Shabbat designated for just men.

For some odd reason, even women who normally don't go to shul on Shabbat, make a special effort to attend shul this Shabbat to hear just 3 verses from the Torah. I can't understand why they feel it's necessary to do this, and they really shouldn't do it this Shabbat.

What's a good way to tell women that they really should not attend shul on שבת זכר and leave the men alone this week?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

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This is the Shabbat that everyone is treated like a man. As it says in Bereishis זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה בָּרָא אֹתָם Thus we are remembering the original creation so that everyone is supposed to come to shul so as to show this.

Another explanation is that we are told that Amalek was male and that it was the men of that nation who were the ones who attacked (Devarim 25:17). Thus the women come to shul to show that they were not involved in the attack and to remind the men that they need to consult the women before doing something that turns out wrong.

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To further the original question, 'שבת זכור' is wordplay on the Pasuk:

זכור את יום השבת לקדשו

Remember the Shabbat day for his holiness.

Thus, it appropriate that only men should come to shul on Shabbat Zachor.

However, the women began to feel left out and forgotten. Thus, they tried to change the name to שבת זכירה, the 'Shabbat of her remembrance'. The Gemara in Megillah 2b states:

אשכחן עשייה זכירה מנלן

We have found the practice of making a (Shabbat) Zechira-- from where is the source?

The Gemara answers based on a Pasuk:

והימים האלה נזכרים ונעשים איתקש זכירה לעשייה

'And these days are Zechira-d and practiced'-- it connects Zechira to actual practice.

This is a stamp of approval on the practice of שבת זכירה. However, the Gemara continues:

דלא כי האי תנא דתניא רבי יהושע בן קרחה אומר כרכין המוקפין חומה מימות אחשורוש קורין

(This ruling) is not like this tanna (R' Yehoshua ben Levi), as Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi, taught: (Only) cities walled from the time of Achashverosh read (the verse in this manner).

Now, the Sanhedrin was centered in Teveria, about which we learn in a different discussion (ibid. 5b):

חזקיה קרי בטבריא בארביסר ובחמיסר מספקא ליה אי מוקפת חומה מימות

Chizkiyah read (the Megillah) in Teveria on the fourteenth and the fifteenth, from the doubt over whether it was walled from the time (of Achashveirosh; reading megillah on the 15th and reading the Pasuk as sanctioning שבת זכירה are a package deal for walled cities).

Thus, the Teveria-based Sanhedrin were unsure which way they were supposed to read the Pasuk. As such, we ended up with a compromise: Women can come to shul on this Shabbat, but it would be called by its original name, שבת זכור.

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Remember also Shamor v Zachor b'dibur echad.

So this is also Shabbat Shamor, and perhaps put guards in place. That might be used to prevent women attending.

Incidentally, Shaul applied the principle of G'zeira Shava to the Zachor in "et yom hashabat l'kadsho" and Amalek, therefore, as well as remembering Amalek, he kept Agag in chains to observe the "Shamor" part.

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