7

We know that one of G-d's names is Baruch, from sources such as:

...ברוך א-ל עליון

Baruch is G-d on High...

and

...ברוך הוא א-לוהינו שבראנו לכבודו

Baruch is our G-d, who created us for his honor...

and

ברוך הוא וברוך שמו

He is Baruch, and Baruch is His name

Finally, every blessing you will ever make starts:

...'ברוך אתה ה

Baruch are you, Hashem...

Now, we know that Hillel says,

ואל תאמן בעצמך עד יום מותך

And do not trust in yourself until the day you die.

And we know that Hashem follows Hillel's opinion:

שלוש שנים נחלקו בית שמאי ובית הלל. הללו אומרים הלכה כמותינו, והללו אומרים הלכה כמותינו. יצאה בת קול ואמרה: אלו ואלו דברי אלוהים חיים הן, והלכה כבית הלל.

For three years, Beit Shammai and Beit Hillel argued. These said, the Halacha is like us; and these said, the halacha is like us. A heavenly voice went out and said: These and those are the words of the Living G-d, but the Halacha follows Beit Hillel.

And since Hashem will never die, He can never trust Himself.

However, we read in the navi Yirmiyahu:

ברוך הגבר אשר יבטח ביהוה והיה יהוה מבטחו

Baruch is the 'man'* who will trust in Hashem, and Hashem shall be his stronghold.

*an anthropomorphism

The obvious kashya is, when will this be possible? If Hashem can never trust in Himself, than how can Hashem trust in Himself?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

6

Actually, your translation is in error:

ואל תאמן בעצמך עד יום מותך

And do not trust in atzamecha YOUR BONES until the day you die.

Since, as you pointed out, Hashem clearly trusts in himself, we may thus conclude that Hashem has no bones and therefore must be an invertebrate, which explains why it is ossur to consume them.

4

The Baruch ben Neriah talmid of Yirmiyahu was the man who could trust in Hashem. Yermiyahu said that Hashem would protect him during the coming exile even though (since he would be in Bavel) he could not become a navi.

Thus Baruch is the man who will trust in Hashem and Hashem will protect him during the exile.

Baruch ben Neriah (Hebrew: ברוך בן נריה Bārūḵ ben Nêrîyāh "Blessed, son of My Candle is God") (c. 6th century BC) was the scribe, disciple, secretary, and devoted friend of the Biblical prophet Jeremiah.

  • I say good for Baruch, but maybe the rest of us can learn to trust in the same way . . . – Mike Supports Monica Mar 10 '16 at 4:48

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