Which of the parents has a halachic obligation to pick the religious institution a son or daughter goes to - the father or mother of the child?

  • Why not the child? Perhaps the father and mother need to find a way to agree? If you have reason to suspect either of the parties you mention has the exclusive halachic right to make this choice, please edit that information into the question. – Double AA Feb 29 '16 at 23:01
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    @DoubleAA it seems that the OP is presuming that the child, being unable to fund their own education, cannot be obligated to decide upon a "proper" institution, since the choice is ultimately out of their hands. – Isaac Kotlicky Mar 1 '16 at 2:46
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    I'm curious why the OP assumes the mother may have the primary role. The father is the one obligated in educating the child (or, barring that, in hiring someone else to educate the child), and since it's not her requirement, she cannot force him to chose a particular institution. This might be different for a daughter, however... – Isaac Kotlicky Mar 1 '16 at 2:49

The father is obligated to ensure his child's education (chayav b'chinuch), not the mother. He may do so personally or by hiring a school to supplement the home education (shlichus). Therefore, legally it is the father who would pick the school.

Of course, as a practical matter, both parents should try to pick a school they find mutually satisfying. For a husband to exercise his rights unilaterally may not contribute to marital harmony. In addition, mothers often have a better understanding of their child's needs and nature (bina yesaira) and have valuable insights to add to the process.

However, it is the father who is obligated in chinuch, not the mother.

An adult child may pick his own school and is not obligated legally to listen to his parents in choosing a school.

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  • Citing sources would greatly improve your answer. Start with the Gemara in kiddushin – Shoel U'Meishiv Jun 30 '16 at 17:49
  • @mefaresh I dont have the sources handy right now. I would be happy if you could edit them in. – LN6595 Jul 19 '16 at 20:39

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