I understand that someone observing shloshim should not attend a seudat mitzvah. I was wondering what happens if someone observing shloshim has a baby boy who is due for a bris.

  • Does the parent simply not attend the seudah?
  • Perhaps no seudah is held (maybe only if both parents are observing sholoshim [e.g. they had twins and one of them died])?
  • Maybe the brit milah (or maybe just the seudah) is delayed until after the shloshim? (Does it matter if the bris was already delayed [e.g. for health reasons or the baby was born bein hashemashot on erev Shabbat]?)
  • Never delay a Brit Milah (unless the kid is sick)
    – Double AA
    Feb 25, 2016 at 17:12
  • If a twin died within a week it would probably be considered a Nefel so no mourning.
    – Double AA
    Feb 25, 2016 at 17:12
  • @DoubleAA The case that inspired this question involves twins who were about 2 months old.
    – Daniel
    Feb 25, 2016 at 17:14
  • See Pitchei Teshuva YD 341:20 about the stronger case of an Onein.
    – Double AA
    Feb 25, 2016 at 17:16

2 Answers 2


Nitei Gavriel Aveilus2 23:20 says that the father of the baby can participate in a Bris and Seuda for his son even during the Sheloshim.

אבי הבן, כשהוא אבל עושה משתה ושמחה ביום המילה ומשתתף אף בתוך שלשים

In the notes he mentions the Shach Yoreh Deah 394:2 quoting the Derisha in the name of the Rokeach that one should not make a Simcha and party on the day of the Bris if they are in Sheloshim. However the Shach says that we do not do so, and we do make a Seuda. Chochmas Adam 166:2 also mentions this Shach.


The Rama (YD 391:2) quotes opinions both ways if a mourner may partake of the meal at a circumcision (the doubt is if it is considered "celebratory" like a wedding is), and notes the custom is to permit a mourner to eat at such a meal only if held in his house. So according to that they could just host the circumcision [meal] at home.

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