1

On what grounds is a divorce ok, any? Divorce is complicated and Hashem has a plan with the marriage between a man and a woman.

closed as unclear what you're asking by Danny Schoemann, Isaac Moses, Daniel, Scimonster, Shokhet Feb 3 '16 at 21:09

Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 1
    What do you mean when you claim that divorce is complicated? – Double AA Jan 27 '16 at 0:21
  • 3
    See the last Mishna in Gittin – Double AA Jan 27 '16 at 0:21
  • 2
  • 1
    Last Mishna in Gittin - בֵּית שַׁמַּאי אוֹמְרִים, לֹא יְגָרֵשׁ אָדָם אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן מָצָא בָהּ דְּבַר עֶרְוָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים כד), כִּי מָצָא בָהּ עֶרְוַת דָּבָר. וּבֵית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים, אֲפִלּוּ הִקְדִּיחָה תַבְשִׁילוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שם), כִּי מָצָא בָהּ עֶרְוַת דָּבָר. רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא אוֹמֵר, אֲפִלּוּ מָצָא אַחֶרֶת נָאָה הֵימֶנָּה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שם), וְהָיָה אִם לֹא תִמְצָא חֵן בְּעֵינָיו: – Danny Schoemann Jan 27 '16 at 12:38
2

Shulchan aruch even ezer 119.3

one should not divorce his first wife unless he found her cheating. hagah: Aside from this, the rabbis said: "if someone divorces his first wife, the alter cries tears upon him". This is specifically talking in their days (time of the talmud), when they frequently divorced a woman even against her will (this is when the alter cries). but if she consents it is permitted. You should try to not rush into divorcing your first wife, but the second wife, if you dislike her, you can divorce her.

4

a woman who is evil in her opinions (i.e immodest and promiscuous) and is not modest like jewish daughters are supposed to be, it is a positive commandment to divorce her.


154.10

If a man married a woman and stayed with her for ten years and did not produce children, he must divorce her and give her Ketubah, or marry another woman who can bear children. If he is unwilling, we force him to divorce. If he said, "I will not have intercourse with her. I will live with her with witnesses so that I will not be secluded with her." Whether she said this, or he said it, we do not listen; instead we require him to divorce or marry a child bearing woman. Rem"a: Some authorities say that this is true if they had no children at all. If, however, she birthed a viable child, even though he has not yet fulfilled obligation to be fruitful, we do not force him to divorce her. See (Shulchan Arukh, Even HaEzer 1), that these days we never force a divorce. A man is believed to say that he knows himself to be sterile, and we do not force him to marry a woman.

See http://www.sefaria.org/Shulchan_Arukh,_Even_HaEzer.115


The wife's grounds (it might be better that women should not read this)

154


Hashem has a plan...

מועד קטן יח, ב

אמר רב משום רבי ראובן בן אצטרובלי מן התורה ומן הנביאים ומן הכתובים מה' אישה לאיש. מהתורה דכתיב (בראשית כד, נ), וַיַּעַן לָבָן וּבְתוּאֵל וַיֹּאמְרוּ מֵה' יָצָא הַדָּבָר. מן הנביאים דכתיב (שופטים יד, ד), וְאָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ לֹא יָדְעוּ כִּי מֵה' הִיא. מן הכתובים (משלי יט, יד), בַּיִת וָהוֹן נַחֲלַת אָבוֹת וּמֵה' אישה מַשְׂכָּלֶת

Mo'ed Katan 18b

Thus said Rab in the name of R. Reuben b. Estrobile, from the Torah, (26) from the Prophets and from the Hagiographa it may be shown that a woman is [destined to] a man by God. From the Torah: Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the Lord. (27) But his [Samson's] father and mother knew not that it was of the Lord. (28) From the Prophets: And from the Hagiographa: House and riches are the inheritance of fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. (29)

(26) The Pentateuch. (27) Gen. XXIV, 50. (28) Judg. XIV,4. (29) Prov. XIX, 14.


Hashem is the Shadchan בראשית רבה סח ג-ד

  • Not everything from the Talmud is good advise – Aigle Jan 27 '16 at 8:05
  • @Eagel I do not understand your point – hazoriz Jan 27 '16 at 9:34
-1

First of all divorce is a mitzvah which can found in Devarim 24:1-4 The reasons for divorce are discussed in meseches gittin 90b

As far as a divine plan for marriage this is in the beginning of Sotah where it says one's spouse is predetermined before you are born.

  • As far as a divine plan for marriage see my answer ther is also in moed katon 18b – hazoriz Jan 27 '16 at 1:59
  • 1
    divorce is a mitzvah is misleading. It's not like praying or Tefilin or Shabbat. it's more of a "if you need to do it, here's how" type of Mitzva . – Danny Schoemann Jan 27 '16 at 13:00
  • @DannySchoemann Like shechita for example – hazoriz Jan 27 '16 at 14:02
  • 1
    @DannySchoemann it is one of the 613 mitzvas. What's misleading about it? B/c it doesn't sound nice? Sometimes there is also a mitzvah to go to war as well. Mitzvas are commandments not nice things that make us feel good. In the case of divorce sometimes a limb (your other half) becomes infected and in order for both of you to survive there must be a divorce (amputation). – Dude Jan 28 '16 at 21:35
  • If a woman asks her husband for a divorce, and he gives her a divorce, do we say hashem decreed they get divorced or do we say she is the one that wanted the divorce ? – pine5900 Apr 10 '16 at 7:02

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .