If a woman in an unmarried relationship goes to Mikvah, does that allow for freedom of touching in any way, besides for actual intercourse or spilling of seed in vain, between said couple (both according to Halacha deoraita and derabanan, including modern takanot)?

Such a practice certainly removes the problem of touching a niddah- but, aside from "spirit of the law" considerations (which are certainly important) would one transgress any prohibition?

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    It would presumably be no better than hirhur aveira, and in his case there would also be the concern that arousal by day could cause an emission at night (besides for issues of schor schor l'karma). (To my understanding, an unmarried girl's going to the mikvah has also been traditionally assumed to be off-limits in the Ashkenazic world. Though I could hear a strong argument that this could be trumped by concern that there will be biblical negiah otherwise.) – Loewian Jan 26 '16 at 14:39
  • related judaism.stackexchange.com/a/28458/759 – Double AA Jan 26 '16 at 14:42
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    @Loewian That all depends what kind of touching is going on and anyway is not a technical prohibition in touching, but just in inappropriate behavior which applies even when hanging out with a Niddah without touching her. – Double AA Jan 26 '16 at 14:43
  • Let us continue this discussion in chat. – Loewian Jan 26 '16 at 15:08

The subject of touching a woman when sexual intercourse is forbidden is addressed in Shulchan Aruch Yore Deah 195, sayf 17; Shach Sayf Katan 20; Gemoroh Shabbos 13; and the main discussion is in Sefer Hamitsvot of Rambam lavim 353 with the objections of the Ramban.

All the prohibitions of non-sexual contact are bounded to a sexual risk.

the cited gemara addresses couple behavior in prohibed period (nidda).

But your question addresses the contact with a not niddah woman who is not prohibited as Arayoss, eg. g. a celibatenot, without family relationships,... etc. What is the kind of this problem?

See in Rambam sefer nashim hilchoss ishuss perek 1 halacha 4

There an interesting citation of Shut Haramban here in the Kessef Mishne

ודע שראיתי להרמב''ן שכתב בתשובה הנזכרת לעיל וז''ל וגם דברי הרמב''ם אינם לאסור פילגש ולהתירה למלך אלא כך אמר וכל הבועל אשה לשם זנות לוקה מפני שבעל קדשה ולשם זנות היינו שפוגע בה ובעלה ולא יחדה לעצמו לשם פילגשות דהיינו קדשה ולא אמר כל הבועל בלא קידושין לוקה וכן בהלכות מלכים כשהזכיר פילגשים במלך לא הזכיר כלל שהוא היתר מיוחד לו עד כאן לשונו. ויש לתמוה איך העביר עיניו ממ''ש אבל הדיוט אסור בפילגש וכו' ושמא היה זה חסר בספר שבידו. ואם היות שהרמב''ן סובר שפילגש מותרת להדיוט כתב בסוף אותה תשובה לשואל ואתה במקומך תזהירם מן הפילגש שאם ידעו ההיתר יזנו ויפרוצו ויבואו עליהן בנדותן: ‏

(loose translation) Rambam prohibited concubinage of standard citizens and allowed for King only (Kesef Mishne quote from Rambam in Halachot Melachim). A relationship which is not oriented by the intent to marry or to an allowed concubinage is prohibited by Tora as znut.

Ramban thinks that concubine is allowed but prohibited to make this information public.

If the woman is potentially permitted (neither erva nor nidda) a non sexual touching is allowed deorayta. But there is a problem with touching sexually oriented, even looking and speaking. We need to read this Gemara Sanhedrin 75a, wich is ruled by great Rishonim (Rambam, Rosh).

Rab Judah said in Rab's name: A man once conceived a passion for a certain woman, and his heart was consumed by his burning desire [his life being endangered thereby]. When the doctors were consulted, they said, 'His only cure is that she shall submit.' Thereupon the Sages said: 'Let him die rather than that she should yield.' Then [said the doctors]; 'let her stand nude before him;' [they answered] 'sooner let him die'.' Then', said the doctors, 'let her converse with him from behind a fence'.' Let him die,' the Sages replied 'rather than she should converse with him from behind a fence.' Now R' Jacob B'Idi and R'Samuel B'Nahmani dispute therein. One said that she was a married woman; the other that she was unmarried. Now, this is intelligible on the view, that she was a married woman, but on the latter, that she was unmarried, why such severity? - R'Papa said: Because of the disgrace to her family. R'Aha the son of R'Ika said: That the daughters of Israel may not be immorally dissolute.

The Rambam concludes hallachically (Mada, Yesode Hatorah 5, 9; reported in Bet Yosef but not in SA). Bet Yosef understood that Rambam ruled this as a Safek Nefashot beShev Veal Taasse, which is not lehakel, but the Pashtut of Bet Yosef is against this reasoning. The Rosh ruled as Rambam {anyways in Shulchan Aruch Poskim did not reported this rule concerning an unmarried woman as @mevaqesh enlighted. They did not stated the prohibition to heal up a life threatened man with looking or speaking with a unmaried woman, but they don't allow at all to make this overall}:

[When] someone becomes attracted to a woman and is [love-]sick [to the extent that] he is in danger of dying, [although] the physicians say he has no remedy except engaging in sexual relations with her, he should be allowed to die rather than engage in sexual relations with her. [This applies] even if she is unmarried.

He is even not to be given instructions to speak to her [in private] behind a fence. Rather, he should die rather than be given instructions to speak to her behind a fence. [These restrictions were instituted] so that Jewish women would not be regarded capriciously, and [to prevent] these matters from [ultimately] leading to promiscuity.

Chachamim prohibited very strongly a very light kind of contact when it is motivated by sexual drive.

  • Let us continue this discussion in chat. – kouty Nov 20 '16 at 8:38
  • @mevaqesh not but he told it again after the quote from shut haramban, that is why I did not include the previous time he said it – kouty Nov 20 '16 at 15:29
  • @kouty ok. that's fair. – mevaqesh Nov 20 '16 at 15:31

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