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What should I do if I'm about to say the Shema Israel but the rest of the minyan is already on aleinu leshabeach, to give an example. Should I say "El melej neeman"? Do I need to be in sync with the minyan?

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It is very important to distinguish between saying amidah together with the tzibbur (which is the main halacha of tefillah be'tzibbur), and being in sync in other parts, which may be less important.

Here's a good source on this subject. It doesn't contain all possible combinations, but it gives a good understanding of the basics. And the Pninei Halacha on the subject.

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