A mourner who is having an operation, or travelling, or any other reason that makes it impossible for him to say Kaddish at a particular Tefila. Is there anything the mourner should do to make up for the missed Kaddish?
asked Jan 21, 2016 at 15:30
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1judaism.stackexchange.com/q/18243/759– Double AA ♦Jan 21, 2016 at 15:40
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1 Answer
The minimum requirement for kaddish is to say it once at any one of the three minyonim. If a person cannot attend any of the three minyonim on a particular day, he cannot "make it up" on a different day. Chabad.org (shown below) recommends that one learn or give tzedakah or emphasize a mitzvah in honor of the deceased parent. This can help in the event that one has had to "miss" the opportunity to say kaddish at a minyan.
Note that the main requirement is a son for one of his parents.
Kaddish is not an all-or-nothing proposition. If for some reason a person misses a daily service, he continues saying kaddish in all subsequent services.
Ideally, kaddish is said three times a day. If it is not possible to attend synagogue for more than one daily service, once is the minimum requirement. If one is unable to make the commitment to say kaddish daily for eleven months, it is possible to pay someone in a synagogue to say it on your behalf.
Note that three times a day above means at each of the three services. It does not need to be said more than once each service.
When the Mourner Cannot Attend Services
What should be done, in such cases, is what the Kaddish itself seeks to do: enhance the "Merit of the Children." The mourners should read a portion of the Bible--a chapter from the Five Books of Moses or the Prophets--or, if he is able, study a mishnah or page from the Talmud. This is a constructive and entirely valid substitute for the Kaddish, when one finds it extremely difficult to attend one of the services.
Tradition recommends other ways to glorify a parent's teaching. Children should make a standard practice of contributing to charity in their parents' memory. Even more effective and more beautiful, mourners should strive to adopt one mitzvah, one special deed, which they will take to heart and practice regularly as a memorial tribute. This custom adds life to the influence of a parent who has passed on and builds a future life for those who survive.
answered Jan 21, 2016 at 21:56
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"The minimum requirement for kaddish is to say it once at any one of the three minyonim." How do you know this?– Double AA ♦Jan 21, 2016 at 22:56
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"Ideally, kaddish is said three times a day." This makes it sound like you could say kaddish at the three times during shacharit and would have fufilled your obligation (if the obligation exists). I realize this is not your words, just a quote you got from mykaddish.com, but I am not sure if it is correct or if the usual assumption "once per each of the three services" is more accurate.– MikeJan 22, 2016 at 1:31
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@Mike Ideally once per service. Minimally, once per day. This accounts for those places where each mourner says one kaddish instead of all saying kaddish at once. Jan 22, 2016 at 2:13
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Sorry Sabbahillel, I have misunderstood your last comment. Does one have to minimally say Kaddish 3 times a day, at the end of each service OR minimally at least once a day? Please may I have your source.– DWoptomSep 22 at 13:21