Why is hebrew, the holy language, so messy?

Question

Something that has always bothered me and I've never really understood is why Hebrew is so messy. If it is the language of G-d, the language in which the world was created and the language in which the Torah was written, then why is it so complicated and weird in some aspects. Let me explain with some examples:

1. There are multiple letters for the same sound (sin and samech, vav and bet, tet and taf).
2. There are multiple sounds for the same letter (vav can be an u, an o or a v).
3. Some letters have subdivisions (shin and sin, bet and vet, etc).
4. Just five letters have a sofit version.
5. Two nikkudot can have totally different sounds but be written exactly identical (such as kamatz, that can be an a or an o).
6. Many sounds aren't in the Hebrew alphabet (like g in george, ch in change, etc).

I know every language has its rules, but how can Hebrew seem so "un imperfect"?

Answer 1

Many of your point are only relevant to Modern Hebrew, which is a distinct language from Biblical Hebrew, only the latter being a holy language. In fact, many orthodox Jews distance themselves from Modern Hebrew (to the point of prohibiting its use in their synagogues) because of what is deemed to be its inherent un-holiness.

Nevertheless, let me address each of your points separately:

1. There are multiple letters for the same sound (sin and samech, vav and bet, tet and taf).

In fact, each letter used to have a distinct sound, but over the course of history, much of such distinction has been lost. The best preserving dialect of Hebrew is probably the Yemenite, where there is a clear distinction between waw/veth and dteth/taw. I even heard from an authentic Yemenite source that in some Yemenite villages a distinction between sin and samach remains, the latter being about half-way between sin and tsadi.

2. There are multiple sounds for the same letter (vav can be an u, an o or a v). Some letters have subdivisions (shin and sin, bet and vet, etc).

This could be in explained in many ways. Here is a simplified Kabbalistic explanation: God created the world through the 10 vowels and 22 letters. Each represents fundamental concepts and their connections. Each word consists of a collection of such concepts and connections that together form the meaning of the word. (E.g. Av = Alef + Beth = Master + House = Master of the house.) Some letters need to show different aspects of themselves to correctly bring out the meaning.

3. Just five letters have a sofit version.

According to the first opinion in Sanhedrin (as it happens, this is the view held by archaeologists too), the Torah was originally in Ksav Ivri which does not have these forms. In the time of Ezra, the original script was replaced by Ksav Ashuris which has these alternate forms. A further indication of this is that Sefer Yetzira (by Avraham Avinu) never mentions the final forms.

4. Two nikkudot can have totally different sounds but be written exactly identical (such as kamatz, that can be an a or an o).

This is not an anomaly. Just as with the letters, each vowel also variants. Most have two length-variants. (E.g. Chataf segol/Segol, Chirik katan/Chirik gadol, Shva nach/Shva na') Again, the distinction between many such pairs have been lost by various groups, and mostly preserved by the Yemenites.

5. Many sounds aren't in the Hebrew alphabet (like g in george, ch in change, etc).

No language contains all sounds made by man. However, the ones included in Hebrew are the ones that were fundamental to the Creation. One could argue that all other sounds a made up of combinations of the 32 (including their variations) that we have. (E.g. G^eorge = D + Z + Sh, Ch^ange = T + Sh.)

Answer 2

The Hebrew language is considered the holy tongue, but not because it is ascetically pleasing from a grammarian's view point. It is holy because holy people use it to convey holy ideas, and it is ill suited (in its original incarnation) for speaking on profane matters. The Rambam writes:

I have also a reason and cause for calling our language the holy language--do not think it is exaggeration or error on my part, it is perfectly correct--the Hebrew language has no special name for the organ of generation in females or in males, nor for the act of generation itself, nor for semen, nor for secretion. The Hebrew has no original expressions for these things, and only describes them in figurative language and by way of hints, as if to indicate thereby that these things should not be mentioned, and should therefore have no names; we ought to be silent about them, and when we are compelled to mention them, we must manage to employ for that purpose some suitable expressions, although these are generally used in a different sense. Moreh Nevukim 3:8