I have the opportunity to reach out to someone who will be getting married soon, to discuss the laws of family purity.

He has no real connections to any religious community at this point in life so there is no hope for him to reach out to anyone for this.

He scoffs at most modern rabbinic rulings but still seems to hold Biblical and straight Talmudic law somewhat in esteem.

Therefore, what I would like is a book or any source that goes step by step laying down what is a Biblical law, what is a Talmudic law, what is a rishon/shulchan aruch law, what is achron law, what is a stringency that one should keep, one that is nice to keep etc. All laid out in an easy and accessible way so that at least whatever level he and his future wife decide to keep, they will at least have something to work off.

English is preferred, but Hebrew would be ok too. Once it's set up in this format, it should be easy to translate.

(To be clear, Rabbi Forst's type of books are not helpful here. A small book like ohel aryeh but in English in the aforementioned format is what I'm looking for)

Does anyone have any information regarding such a work?

  • Possibly Rambams mishneh torah?
    – Aaron
    Jan 15, 2016 at 3:04
  • If he's really only interested in Deoraitas then teach him about 7-11, Hefsek Taharah and the 'Harchaka' of Negia. What else does he need?
    – Double AA
    Jan 15, 2016 at 3:17
  • 1
    @Double well I would like to present it in a way that while stressing the importance of the biblical laws does not belittle the rabbinic laws more than necessary. That's why I was hoping there was something like I described.
    – user6591
    Jan 15, 2016 at 3:32
  • @Aaron that is a good suggestion, there are certain drawbacks though. But it is a good backup plan.
    – user6591
    Jan 15, 2016 at 12:16

3 Answers 3


I would strongly recommend 'Family Purity, A Guide to Marital Fulfillment" by Rabbi Fishel Jacobs. It is in English, is well written and heavily footnoted, showing all the sources that you enumerate. Additionally, Rabbi Jacobs relied heavily on input and questions from women in assembling the book to make it accessible and practicable for both husband and wife. Here's a link...


And one last thought in connection with your question. The 10th of the 13 principles of our faith according to Rambam is belief in Divine Providence. A link can be seen here: http://www.daat.ac.il/daat/mahshevt/rambam/hakdamat-2.htm

כי הוא, השם יתברך, יודע מעשיהם של בני אדם ואינו מעלים עינו מהם. לא כדעת מי שאמר "עזב ה' את הארץ", אלא כמו שנאמר (ירמיה לב) "גדול העצה ורב העליליה אשר עיניך פקוחות על כל דרכי בני אדם" וגו', "וירא ה' כי רבה רעת האדם בארץ" וגו' (בראשית ו) ונאמר "זעקת סדום ועמורה כי רבה" (שם יח). זהו מורה על היסוד העשירי הזה.

Which translates as, "That is, G-d knows human acts and does not hide His eye from them. Not like the opinion of those who say, "G-d has adandoned the world.", rather like it says (Jeremiah 32:19), "Great in counsel, and mighty in work, whose eyes are open on all the ways people "etc.," L-rd saw that the evil of mankind is great on the earth, "etc. (Bereshit 6) as it states: "the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great" (ibid 6:18). This teaches about this tenth principle."

The Creator supervises and provides for each and every one of His creations, including this individual you know. It is possible that you may be his 'hope' of outreach from the Jewish community. Keep in mind the words found at the conclusion of morning blessings, "These are the things which have no measure...acts of loving kindness...".

May it be G-d's will to bless you with success. Just as water reflects the face, so too, words from the heart reach the heart.

  • 1
    @YaacovDeane Thanks. That quote doesn't support your claim though. It only indicates that God cares about large groups like "mankind" and "sodom and gomorra" not 'each and every one of His creatures'.
    – Double AA
    Jan 15, 2016 at 19:58
  • @DoubleAA You are entitled to your opinion, but if you look at the two sources Rambam brings to support his principle, it means exactly what I wrote. If you have a question about the meaning of his 10th principle, perhaps you should post it. Also, this issue is about a small side comment only to encourage the OP with a blessing. IMHO, the edit requested diminishes the answer by over complicating a simple sentiment. Have a good Shabbos. Gotta go. Jan 15, 2016 at 21:18
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    @YaacovDeane See more about rambam's position judaism.stackexchange.com/a/33779/759
    – Double AA
    Jan 15, 2016 at 21:29
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    @DoubleAA First of all, Shavuah tov, to you and your family. It's not a surprise that you would respond with another question...dressed in a challenge, meaning to look at another link in the stack. But "the stack" is not the final word about what is Torat HaEmet. Regarding understanding the 13 principles, and particularly in regard to our correspondence, the 10th principle of the Rambam, I would point you to the book in English entitled, Torah Faith: the Thirteen Principles by Rabbi Zechariah Fendel. (continued) Jan 16, 2016 at 23:12
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    @YaacovDeane That is not the final word about Torat HaEmet either. The Rambam just was not a Chasid whether you like it or not.
    – Double AA
    Jan 18, 2016 at 0:26

I would recommend "Daughter of Israel: Laws of Family Purity" By Rabbi Kalman Kahana. It's the English translation of טהרת בת ישראל.

It's authoritative, based on the rulings of the Chazon Ish. But the book was written for the layman, and there are numerous places where he rules leniently even though the "minhag" of "bnei yeshiva" is to be stringent. The Chazon Ish himself wrote a letter justifying the rulings in the book, and his letter is included in the introduction.

The most famous ruling is his not requiring to observe the "onas Ohr Zarua." Someone complained that the minhag/custom is to be stringent (so why is there no mention in the sefer)? The Chazon ish responded that since the majority of authorities did not require being strict, there is no need to mention the stringency. Rav Nissim Karelitz zatza"l, the Chazon Ish's nephew, is reported to have explained that the sefer was written for the layman and thus only contains the required halachos (I believe the sefer Chut Shani quotes Rav Nissim Karelitz saying this, though I don't have access to the sefer). There are a few examples like this in the sefer.


Partial answer

Regarding why we count for every drop shulchan aruch harav has a nice introduction cam be found here (in Hebrew) (with footnotes of sources)

  • I dont see how this addresses the question. Counting 7 nekiyim after every drop isnt d'orayta. And it isnt a book at all. The OP is looking for a book.
    – mevaqesh
    Nov 20, 2017 at 19:54

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