I have always heard that tearing the hymen by beilas mitzva (first intercourse with a virgin after marriage) is a good thing and it should not be avoided (maybe to tear it is the mitzvah as it seems to me from shulchan aruch harav 280.3). (Though to be fair I did not know that it was possible to avoid it.)

@Aaron is claiming that tearing the hymen can and should be avoided. (As any other damages to a Jewish body)

Is @Aaron right?

I'm looking for sourced Jewish views on the subject.


Rabbi YitzḼak said: All of those women from the household of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi who break their hymens are named Tamar by nickname.- Yevamot.34b see Rashi there it seems it might be positive behavior (it would raise the likelihood of pregnancy for newlyweds)


Ein ishah koreses bris elah im mi she'aseah kli, a woman only binds herself to the one who made her a receptacle (i.e. who induced her into the realm of biah and child bearing).

Therefore if you do as you are suggesting, although this is halachically permissible (Reb Alter Halpern) you will miss out on the intensity of the intimacy between husband and wife for life.

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    "who induced her into" What does that even mean? – Double AA Jan 18 '16 at 15:47

The Gemara says that they gave Malkus to someone who was able to avoid tearing the Besulim, since it showed that he had much experience.

There was a special blessing that was said upon seeing the blood. This suggests that there is something special about seeing the open witness to the purity.

Chazal allowed Be'ilas Mitzva on Shabbos because it is technically not a Chaburah. The blood that emerges is only from the immediate area.

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    Your first source is irrelevant AFAICT as the lashes are due to an external factor. I don't see what your last source has to do with this (aside from being medically inaccurate) since we aren't discussing laws of Shabbat. Your middle source is a) controversial (the Rambam called it a "joke of the chazanim"), b) doesnt necessarily imply what you claim it does, even if the blood is the impetus for the blessing, c) doesnt help answer the question of whether it can/should be avoided (ex. we don't go killing relatives in order to be zoche in the mitzva of keria and the bracha of dayan haemet). – Double AA Jan 18 '16 at 15:42

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