According to the Zohar the man is the "giver" and the woman is the "receiver" within the context of a marriage. With that being the case how can one understand the traditional role of a wife to cook for her husband (judaism.stackexchange.com/a/65285/3006).

Should the man be doing the cooking as well? In "Garden of Peace", Rabbi Shalom Arush goes on to say that whenever a man becomes a receiver he develops a feminine trait and become repulsive to his wife. Does this mean that the husband should do all the cooking?

  • 4
    Perhaps, traditionally, he gives her the raw ingredients that he hunts/farms/gathers, and she receives it and prepares it.
    – Loewian
    Commented Nov 29, 2015 at 17:49
  • 1
    Don't play around with Zohar that way.
    – LN6595
    Commented Nov 29, 2015 at 19:58
  • Do you have any evidence for your claims? Please edit it in.
    – Double AA
    Commented Nov 29, 2015 at 20:04
  • 1
    What if she enjoys cooking for him?
    – Gavriel
    Commented Nov 30, 2015 at 19:13
  • @Gavriel, I do remember a tosfos in kiddushin where a lady can be mekadish by a great torah scholar where her reward is the ability to give him a gift...
    – Ani Yodea
    Commented Nov 30, 2015 at 20:51

1 Answer 1


Yevamos 63a:

אשכחיה רבי יוסי לאליהו א"ל כתיב אעשה לו עזר במה אשה עוזרתו לאדם א"ל אדם מביא חיטין חיטין כוסס פשתן פשתן לובש לא נמצאת מאירה עיניו ומעמידתו על רגליו

Rebbi Yosi found Eliyahu. He said to him "it is written 'I shall make for him a helper' - in what way does she help man?" He responded "A man brings [home] wheat -does he chew on wheat? [He brings home] flax - does he wear flax? Does it not come out that she lights up his eyes and stands him on his feet?"

The role being discussed of woman as the receiver does not mean she is a parasite. It means she takes what the man "supplies" and she develops it. This is manifest most fundamentally in the act of procreation - the man supplies "seed" and the woman takes it and, over a 9 month process of development, develops it into a child.

The Gemara in Yevamos is expressing her cooking as a perfect application of that. She receives what he provides and turns it into something complete and usable.

  • +1 Great answer. If you'll try you can find many instances of the Zohar that show this too. Perhaps with even more emphasis (e.g. Binah).
    – HaLeiVi
    Commented Nov 30, 2015 at 2:29
  • @HaLeiVi yeah, there are countless examples. Commented Nov 30, 2015 at 2:32

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