From the shulchan aruch (yora deya 240.5 end)

אֲבָל חַיָּב לְכַבְּדוֹ בְּגוּפוֹ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁמִּתּוֹךְ כָּךְ בָּטֵל מִמְּלַאכְתּוֹ, וְיִצְטָרֵךְ לְחַזֵּר עַל הַפְּתָחִים. וְדַוְקָא דְּאִית לַבֵּן מְזוֹנוֹת לְאִיתְזוּנֵי הַהוּא יוֹמָא, אֲבָל אִי לֵית לֵיהּ, לֹא מְחֻיָּב לְבַטֵּל מִמְּלַאכְתּוֹ וְלַחֲזֹר עַל הַפְּתָחִים.‏

I understand that the mitzvah of respecting my father is even not to work to respect him as long as I have what to eat for today.

My question:

  1. If I do not have what to eat (that belongs to me) for today (so no mitzvah not to work (see source above)) and my father offers to feed me (or commands me to eat his food), does that make the mitzvah of respecting my father and not working applicable to me?

    1. If not, (then in my understanding it is preferable that I make money and not live off tzedoka/gifts of my father (the one that hates gifts will live)) how can I make money if I am (Ashkenazi and) still living in my father's house and everything that I make belongs to him shulchan aruch choshen mishpat 270.2.

for translation See comment on answer https://judaism.stackexchange.com/a/64925/5120

Sources appreciated. (This is a theoretical question not practical.)

  • @DannySchoemann I am NOT paying rent, by getting an answer to this question I will see if it is possible for me to pay the rent, how can I make the question more clear?
    – hazoriz
    Nov 30, 2015 at 15:36
  • I don't know, as I still don't understand what is happening. Your father is housing you and clothing you but you don't want him to feed you? Or are you saying you want to move out (and maybe back into the house as a paying boarder)? Then you're not סומך על שולחן אביו and the money you earn is yours. What are you trying to ask? Nov 30, 2015 at 15:49
  • @DannySchoemann if I am busy honoring my father maybe I do not have a right to move out
    – hazoriz
    Nov 30, 2015 at 15:51
  • @DannySchoemann maybe I have the right but it is a mitzvah not to
    – hazoriz
    Nov 30, 2015 at 15:51
  • @DannySchoemann if I understand my source correctly, and if the answer to number 1 is that I am still obligated to honor him even if the food for the one day is coming from him
    – hazoriz
    Nov 30, 2015 at 15:53

2 Answers 2


This halacha is not a reason not to work, rather it is a petur that one does not need to actively take care of his father if it means he will not have what to eat for that day. If one does not have enough for that day he can go work until he has enough for that day. if he does not have a set job that he can rely on for tomorrow he is patur until he has enough for 3 days.(see rishon litzion).

In regard to you making money/working because you live in your fathers house does not mean what you work for belongs to your father, only what you get in a unexpected matter (like you find something...).

  • How can i find the rishon litzion? How do you understand וה"ה אם הרויחו בסחורה או במלאכה,?( I understand that this is only for ashkenazim)
    – hazoriz
    Dec 7, 2015 at 11:36
  • Is it this hebrewbooks.org/36928
    – hazoriz
    Dec 7, 2015 at 11:41
  • If yes what page
    – hazoriz
    Dec 7, 2015 at 11:42
  • only what you get in a unexpected matter (like you find something...). That is not what the ramo sais
    – hazoriz
    Jan 10, 2016 at 17:34

From the Pele yoets in the end of kibud av vaim.
it seems that you should not leave your fathers table with out his permission (this might be a stringency and not a legal obligation)

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