Can a married woman rely on her husband for the mitzvos of Purim of Shalach Manos and Mattanos Levyonim (I recall somthing about Ishto Kigufo)?


Rama (the Mapa) 695:4 says (all translations are my own, and you shouldn't rely on their accuracy):

And a woman is obligated in matanos laevyonim (gifts to paupers) and mishloach manos (the sending of foods) like a man, and a woman should send to a woman and a man to a man but not vice versa so that he not come to send to a widow and they come under a safek kidushin (inclarity about whether there is kidushin (marriage)), but by matanos laevyonim one need not worry.

Mishna B'rura comments:

"And a woman is obligated", etc.: [...] And Magen Avraham wrote:

I haven't seen people careful about this; perhaps it's only for a widow, whereas the husband of a married woman sends on her behalf to a number of men. In any event, one should be stringent.

(Examination of the MA shows that his headword is "And a woman is obligated". Also that he wrote "a number of people" where MB quoted him as having written "a number of men".)

P'ri M'gadim explains the MA:

... and when she's married, the authority (r'shus) of her husband is upon her; and a widow and virgin are obligated.

Make of all that what you will, and, of course, CYLOR for a practical ruling.

  • 2
    Chayei Adam writes similarly: "the married women here are accustomed to assuming that their husbands will send on their behalf; this is incorrect, and she should send her own." – Shalom Mar 11 '11 at 14:05
  • Which raises the question: If maase yadeha are her husband's, what is she sending? – msh210 Mar 11 '11 at 18:24
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    @msh210, if necessary she could say "can I have this fruit basket unconditionally, for any use I want" (al menas sh'ein lo reshus), if he agrees, then it's totally hers. Practically the financial arrangement of most normal couples in 21st century America is such that she can buy and gift a couple of hamentashen or apples without asking her husband! (The enactment that he receive her minor income was the standard suggested when he's out-earning and supporting her, but a couple can agree on any arrangement they prefer, including complete financial independence.) – Shalom Mar 11 '11 at 19:29

The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch siman 142:4 writes that some women rely on their husbands to give mishaloach manos on their behalf, and he writes that its not correct and one should be machmir.

Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach V'alehu Lo Yibul 1:437 held not like this kitzur ,but held that one mishlaoch manos is sufficient for both .

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