what is the source that שדכן is an acronym of שקר דובר כסף נוטל

(translation "marriage broker" is an acronym of "says" "lies" "takes" "money" (in a different order))

someone told me it is from the shalo hakodosh is this true? If yes is it in writing(where)?

if no what is the source (if there is one in writing)?

  • 3
    ...sounds like the source is someone VERY disappointed with the match he got.... – Gary Aug 4 '15 at 21:05
  • @Gary not necessarily, it can also be from someone that dealt with them. See hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=33085&pgnum=101 where the Baal hatanya explains why according to kabolo it is the it is set up that all shiduchim are (not like business and are) completed through the lies of the Shadchan (so this is the practice that they lie) (somthing like logically there can never be a mach, but through lies (not logical) there can be) – hazoriz Aug 4 '15 at 21:39
  • 1
    ...I thought they didn't outright lie but put "the best spin on negative attributes"... – Gary Aug 6 '15 at 16:06
  • @mevaqesh Have a good shabos and hatslocho rabo – hazoriz Mar 4 '16 at 22:14
  • @hazoriz kein l'mar – mevaqesh Mar 4 '16 at 22:14

This source from 1912 mentions it.

This source from 1913 mentions it as well.


The Nitei Gabriel mentions it here and claims a clear example from the Torah of how Eliezer, Avrohom's servant, gave Rivka the bracelets before asking whose daughter she was and then reversed the order when speaking to the “mechutonim”.

וכמו שרמזו בשם ״שדכן" שהוא ר״ת שקר דובר כסף נוטל.

ומצינו כן מפורש בתורה בהשידוך הראשון שפרט הכתוב כל הפרטים, כאשר הלך אליעזר ליקח אשה ליצחק, שנתן מתחלה הצמידים ושוב שאל בת מי את וכאשר דיבר אל המחותנים אמר להיפוך, ואשאל אותה ואומר בת מי את, ואחר כך ואשים הנזם על אפה - בראשית ב״ד מ״ז

  • Thank you very much it is a source, (I would still like somthing earlier). but I understand that he is explaining there not the acronym but that even though when someone lies in business the money he makes is not kosher, but in the case of shidduchim the money is still kosher since this is permitted to lie (not be completely truthful) then he bring the story of Eliezer as an example – hazoriz Aug 4 '15 at 21:46

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