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From the fourth point of this letter igros kodesh 26 pg 222 (additional sources brought there 1 and 2) I understand that the groom should not take care of the wedding but should be learning...

What I see that the Rebbe brings as proofs "asmachtas" 1. the law that a chason is forbidden to work and 2. that he needs to fast on the day of his wedding

But I see from shulchan aruch even ezer 64 that only after the wedding he needs to not work, and from even ezer 56 end of Bais Shmuel 3 that before the wedding he needs to prepare the meal (IMHO make money to prepare the meal).

How am I supposed to understand the Rebbe? (The Rebbe brings that a chason is forbidden from work before the wedding (what is the source of this?))

Is it just good advice, and lifnim mishuras hadin (since he is already called a choson so he should not work (but I understand that he is not really called a choson yet (I heard that even in the kesuba he is not called a chossen the first time we mention his name))).

  • What kind of work? Melacha work, or work (job) work? – Scimonster Aug 3 '15 at 8:43
  • @scimonster It is called "melacha" maybe like chol hamoed, it says like a king shukchan aruch even ezer 64 and see also hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46546&pgnum=39 – hazoriz Aug 3 '15 at 10:27
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    Vote to close as unclear. I don't understand the question. I can't access the texts you cite, but you claim that they say that he should not concern himself with the wedding. If that's what he should not do, then he should not do it. What else are you trying to understand? I'm confused by your confusion. – Seth J Aug 3 '15 at 15:42
  • @SethJ I am trying to find the reason that he should not concern himself with the wedding, (since when I read this it contradicted what I learned previously, (sources from shulchan aruch brought) who else should if not him, he is an adult (over 13) he decided to (do the mitzvah and) get married so why should he make himself a burden to others) and it might be that I am misunderstanding something – hazoriz Aug 3 '15 at 15:50
  • Your comment, maybe because it is more concise, is clearer than your question. May I recommend you edit to clarify what exactly has you confused (the apparent contradiction, and becoming a burden, I guess)? – Seth J Aug 3 '15 at 16:29

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