What books (seforim) or lectures (Shiurim) (audio/video recordings) have practical "get" information? — not only how it is written and given but also how the estate (money (ketuba) and children) is divided.

since i see from bellow that in practice we do no use the old laws


Additionally, as Rabbi Feinstein points out, since women today cannot be divorced against their will due to the famous tenth century enactment of Rabbenu Gershom prohibiting such a practice, a divorce today requires the husband to placate his wife with an amount that she would deem sufficient. Therefore, a woman can effectively "negotiate" for an amount greater than the value of the ketubah if her husband wishes to divorce her. Thus, the calculation of the amount of the ketubah only becomes relevant in very limited cases, such as when both parties expressly stipulate that they want the payment amount from the husband to the wife upon divorce to be determined solely based upon a rabbinical court's evaluation of the ketubah. Hence, most couples never expect that the ketubah will actually be used for collection purposes and in fact the majority of Jewish women who have become divorced (or widowed) do not seek to collect their ketubah but rather use other channels to settle their claims. It is, therefore, virtually impossible to ascertain an established custom or practice with respect to the valuation of the ketubah in America.83 Given these questions, it is not surprising, that there is no clear halachic answers relating to the value of the ketubah.

(what will be if the wife wants a divorce and the husband dose not?)

  • Rabbi Hershel Schachter has said basically, the rule of thumb that most batei din apply is "equitable distribution" with regards to property, and "best interests of child" with regards to custody -- essentially the same principles that a secular court would use.
    – Shalom
    Commented Apr 13, 2015 at 15:45
  • @Shalom so it is mediation?, if someone would want it to be by halocho they would need a prenuptial agreement, if they do not have one then they will be forced to split 50/50 (if it is the woman that wants the divorce)
    – hazoriz
    Commented Apr 13, 2015 at 17:05
  • for money, the rule of thumb is "hakol keminhag hamakom" or "keminhag hasocherim." There's an mp3 from Rabbi Reiss where he says that as long as they got licensed and legally married in a state that does equitable distribution, then the default assumption is that's how they will split their monies as well.
    – Shalom
    Commented Apr 13, 2015 at 17:42
  • @shalom where can I find the mp3 (and all mp3's on this subject) which will be an answer
    – hazoriz
    Commented Apr 13, 2015 at 17:47

1 Answer 1


Here's Rabbi Yona Reiss' lecture (mp3), "Dividing Assets in Divorce Proceedings."

He was the director of the Beth Din of America for many years (and now handles similar matters in Chicago), so he's dealt with this practically a lot.


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