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I was under the impression that the further time passes from death the weaker the Aveilus. For example, Shiva is stronger than Sheloshim is stronger than 11 months.

Yet, according to the Gemara in Kesuvos 4b writes "מאי קולא אילימא דקתני בועל בעילת מצוה ופורש התם משום דלא חל עליו אבילותא אי לרבי אליעזר עד שיצא מפתח הבית אי לרבי יהושע עד שיסתם הגולל" which implies that having relations is permitted during Aninus but prohibited during Aveilus.

Why would that be?

  • Aninus is not avelus (eg. you can wear leather shoes). Your rule about time passage is true. – Double AA Apr 1 '15 at 1:43

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