If someone accidentally served a guest a milk-and-meat combination and realized his mistake after the fact, should he ask the guest for mechilah (forgiveness)?

  • 4
    You should show it to your rabbi. The material could matter and what you used it for then and recently before and a host of possible other factors. Tell him. He can decide for you. We are not a rabbi and we cannot guide you, especially with only part of the story.
    – Double AA
    Mar 13, 2015 at 1:32
  • ( @DoubleAA's comment was on an earlier version of the question.)
    – msh210
    Mar 15, 2015 at 3:35
  • See ShA CM 234.
    – Double AA
    Mar 15, 2015 at 3:44

2 Answers 2


I think something similar was asked previously, but I'm not seeing it right now.

Let's assume your guest did not find out, and otherwise never will.

Most meat-and-milk mistakes that will happen in your kitchen will be at the level of a rabbinic prohibition, not a biblical one. The biblical prohibition would only be if they were cooked together. So if you served meat for lunch and the nondairy ice cream (or coffee creamer) turned out to be dairy, that would at the level of a rabbinic prohibition at best. (Or even if you realized that the mayonnaise put out on the cold corned beef sandwiches contained dairy.)

If it's a rabbinic prohibition, then Nesivos Hamishpat CM234 rules that mistakenly violating a rabbinic prohibition does not require any atonement. So there's really no point in telling your guest.


Regardless of whether any kosher law was transgressed, if your friend would be upset that you served him this, it is a "darchei shalom" (way of peace) that you do.

As to whether strictly speaking you may not ask forgiveness, it is either a sin or "menuval b reshut had in" (disgusting within the bounds of the law)

  • If the guy won't know it may be meaner to tell him even if you apologize right after.
    – Double AA
    Mar 15, 2015 at 4:11

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