Practically speaking, how should I cover my hair?

Question

I belong to a liberal community where married women do not cover their hair. But occasionally I visit other communities (generally Modern Orthodox or Lubavich) for Shabbat and I would like to fit in when I do (meaning I don't want to stand out and I don't want to make others uncomfortable). I do not have the automatic fashion sense that is often ascribed to women.

I've seen women wear scarves, caps that they can tuck their hair into (like snoods, but solid), and dressier hats that cover some but not all hair. Assuming that I want to use either a scarf or a cap for simplicity and cost (I assume the dress hats are expensive), what is the easiest thing that I can do to fit in, with my medium-long hair that I'm not going to cut? I recently tried to cover my hair with a scarf (tied bandana-style, with the knot behind my neck) but couldn't quite figure out what to do that would stay in place, and it left a lot of hair showing. The caps I've seen some women wear seem like they'd be big enough to stuff my hair into, but I'm not sure where to shop for that and if there are any tricks to wearing them. I'm a little too shy to approach random women in Kosher Mart to ask these kinds of questions.

Can somebody help me out with some "hair 101 for visitors"?

Answer 1

Black is always elegant. Always. Simple is best.

Infinity scarves come in a variety of materials but the easiest ones to use are the stretchy kind. I have a few hundred scarves and they stay in the drawer most of the time.

The only ones I actually wear all the time are believe it or not, from the dollar store.

I have a plain black cotton infinity scarf that I paid three dollars for and I can wear more than a few interesting ways.

Firstly it can be put over your head, turned once and looped over again to create an elegant look that leaves a little hair showing. This looks swoopy and has a lovely flowing look.

I also have wrapped it tight from that style into a turban like look just to get everything off my neck on a hot day.

Sometimes I will cover my head with the scarf and pull it tight around my bunned ponytail looping it like a scrunchie hair tie. It's not a fancy look but it's practical for covering everything nice and tight.

From doing this with a plain cotton scarf I then have the freedom to put a hat on as if the scarf were my own hair. I have a few cute hats, a beret, a saucy little derby and one little felt cap that has some pretty little feathers and a bow but honestly let's be real I actually throw on my camouflage ball cap when we go hiking with this style most often.

Tying on a stretchy infinity scarf gives you the same hat options you have without the cover because it acts like your own hair.

Back to the first way of wearing the scarf, sometimes I wear two. For example I do the third style with plain black and then I have a gorgeous long flowery looking scarf I casually wrap around not worrying about what shows because I have the black one on under it. I also have a collection of super cute non stretchy infinity scarves including one full of stars that I absolutely adore.

But my best advice is just play with it. Have fun. Go get some scarves that are neutral and match your favorite clothes. Play with your look until you love it and own it.

Really what you feel good in is the best way for you to go.

If you can't get the hang of infinity scarves don't worry, I also went to an African store which surprisingly sold very cute kippot that fit my son and they often sell what looks like the knee to the thigh of a pair of stretchy slacks. These are my go to when I don't feel like messing around with scarves.

The reason why I'm telling you what they look like is that after buying every print they had I still didn't have a plain black one and plain black is my thing.

You can easily cut off the leg of a pair of tights and sew it at the knee and thigh to make this easy head cover. I love to sew and maybe one day I'll whip out a pattern for sewing one from new materials.

I really wish I could show you pictures of all my styles and how easy it is to cover up and look smart.

Best of all aside from being modest and all the benefits of modesty, your hair will thank you. With less environmental toxins, sun bleaching etc. My hair is now healthy and starting to curl again naturally.

For all the efforts, time and money women put into their hair just to abuse it with blow-dryers, curling irons, straighteners, dyes, sprays and Junk it is just so much easier, fun and practical to cover with scarves.

This is my second year covering my hair every day, it takes a while to figure it out , just keep playing with your style, keep it simple, keep it modest. . . And if all else fails pins are your friend. An elegant broach will keep any unruly scarf in place especially on a windy day walking to the shul.

I've got one that says "Mother" and a lovely gold rose. Make your look your own. Don't worry about fitting in, you're Jewish be "Set Apart" and be yourself.

Hope you have fun trying out some of my scarf styles yourself !

Answer 2

http://www.doubleheaderusa.com/results.asp?catid=98 http://www.headcovers.com/headwear/hats-turbans/

The first website is actually a friend of my wife's so you know, cheep plug. But she really does have a lot of items. The second one is from a quick 'head covering option' search. (Apparantly Jewish women and cancer patients shop for the same items.)

There is always the inexpensive wig option like http://www.paulayoung.com/category/brands/paula+young+wigs.do Some of the women in my family do that, such as my mother and mother in law. But it's a generational thing. My sister and wife would never. Some of the Lubavitch women are very ritzy dressers so if fitting in is important, you might want to think twice. But from what I've seen, the Lubavitch women in Pittsburgh seem to be down to earth in that respect.

As far as modern orthodox, many women in modern orthodox communities don't cover their hair either so you probably won't stick out or feel uncomfortable going without any covering, but if you are asking this, I guess the crowd you are talking about either do cover their hair or you aren't sure what to expect.

But the best advise would be to observe and inquire. Not like a neurotic teenager of course, but most women don't mind and actually appreciate being asked 'where did you get that great hat?'

Answer 3

The easiest option would be a solid snood, but you can also see some easy ways to tie a tichel (scarf) here. You can buy a scarf anywhere, but make sure you get one appropriate for the weather (e.g.: thin material for the summer).