Avoiding accidentally eating cheese

Question

Whether one waits 6 hours, 3 hours, 1 hour, or somewhere in between, it is a common occurrence to find people mistakenly eating milk/cheese/yogurt too soon after meat. It seems like a problem that could not be solved by habituation or conditioning since there can be such a long lag between the initial catalyst (meat) and the trial (milk).

What is the most effective strategy to remind oneself not to eat dairy within the time limit after having meat? Is there a different strategy for one who has years/decades of experience than for a newbie?

Answer 1

When you finish with meat, look at your watch and say, "Okay, no dairy until 4PM. 4PM. 4PM" (Or whatever time.) Especially helpful on short shabbos afternoons; as soon as you're done eating meat, check the clock, add the appropriate number of hours, and think about what that time will feel like.

Of course, waiting the appropriate amount of time is the halachically right thing to do, and any strategy to guide yourself that direction is appropriate. But if someone did slip up and forget and eat a yogurt an hour after their hamburger, the correct course of action is strategizing for the future, not guilt-tripping. It's at most a mistaken violation of a custom, which requires no atonement (the Nesivos says violating a rabbinic commandment by mistake requires no atonement).

Lastly, if you saw a nice yogurt and made a "shehakol", then suddenly realized oy vey! you ate a hamburger an hour ago, I've been told it's better to go ahead and take one taste (no more!) of the yogurt (assuming no other shehakol food is handy); better to violate the waiting custom than say a bracha for naught.

Answer 2

I once sat next to somebody on a flight to Israel (where our normal sense of time is probably even more distorted), and as soon as we were done the fleishig meal, he set the timer on his watch to make sure to wait the alloted time. I don't know if he always did this, or just on a flight, but it seemed like a great idea.

Practically speaking, though, I don't know if this is easier or harder to condition oneself into doing than Shalom's solution of just reminding oneself "4PM 4PM 4PM"

Answer 3

I think that for me personally, as a religious Jew, I am always conscious of what I am putting into my mouth. I need to think about kashrus, shiurim, bracha rishona, bracha achrona, etc. Basar v'chalav is one part of my thinking before I eat something and I think this is something that can be learned through routine.

Answer 4

There are some people who handle this because they have very stringent routines that they follow for eating. For example, they may never eat meat during the day on a weekday... not because of meat / milk, but just because that is their routine. In this way, they never have an issue with meat / milk. (On Shabbos they may have a routine to never eat milk for Shalosh Seudos which has the same effect of solving the issue). Another common routine with the same effect is to only eat dairy for breakfast.

Answer 5

I rely on my phone's calendar for all sorts of things.

In this case, after I finish eating meat, I like to enter a new six-hour-long calendar entry (start time: now) to help me remember that I'm fleishig.

Answer 6

Prior to not really directly answering your question, a little background:

The gemara Chulin 105a says that one may not have milk after meat until the next meal. The Rambam (et al.) interprets this as the meal of talmidei chachamim which is not until 6 hours. The reasoning given is either because the taste lingers in the throat (Tur) or the mouth (Ata"z) or that the meat in the teeth takes that long to decompose. This is how the mechaber paskens (Y.D.89:1) and such is the halacha for Sefaradim.

Tos. (on the daf) argues and interprets the gemara as just needing a new meal with no time requirement. This, however, requires "siluk" withdrawing from the meal [and] bentching. (Other requirements are making sure the teeth and hands are clean of meat, rinsing with a liquid and eating to clean with a solid. There is a machlokes Shach and Taz how long after eating a person must do this.) This is the halacha for Ashkenazim and that is why there are minhagim less than 6 hours. "We" Ashkenazim adopt the Rambam as a chumrah (Rema Y.D. 89:1).

So if you are an Ashkenazi like me, I am more concerned about benching and bracha acharonas than I am about the timing, which is very difficult if you are eating on the go. If I mess up on the timing (late lunch/early supper), I just stop eating and move on with my life. But bracha acharona is a more serious issue.