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I have been to many minyanim where people are saying kaddish of a variety of nuschaot. What should one do with regards to this?

Some examples: In a sephardi minyan, should an ashkenazi person remain silent for those parts of kaddish that a sephardi person would say? Conversely should a sephardi person assert his nusach of kaddish by quickly adding the additional parts that he would say if he is in an ashkenazi minyan?

Does it make a difference that it is 'easier' for an ashkenazi person to remain silent for parts of kaddish in a sephardi minyan in comparison with a sephardi person adding extra words within an ashkenazi kaddish?

Additionally, if you are in a non-nusach-specific minyan, what is the ideal way to say kaddish with other people who are saying it with a different nusach to you?

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    I daven in a minyan where most of the people daven Nusach Sefard, but some people use Eidot Hamizrach, and one person says kaddish Nusach Ashkenaz. The guy who davens Ashkenaz just waits while everyone else says "ויצמח פורקניה ויקרב משיכיה", and in "יהא שלמה רבא", the people not davening Eidot Hamizrach pause either before or after "עלינו ועל כל ישראל", depending on the person. Not posting as an answer because i don't know if this is the proper thing to do. – Scimonster Dec 3 '14 at 10:53
  • @Scimonster i have experienced the same. But what about the other way? Its not easy for a Nusach Sefard/Eidot Hamizrach to add into an Ashkenazi nusach – bondonk Dec 3 '14 at 10:55
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    Why should you say qaddish if someone is already saying it? Is Omein not enough? – MoriDowidhYa3aqov Dec 4 '14 at 0:59
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Excerpt from this article:

To avoid fights, many places allow all the Avelim (mourners) to say Kaddish (prayer said on behalf of the deceased) together. However, they must say it together word-for-word, for two voices saying the same thing in unison are not heard, except for something heard infrequently that is very dear to the listener. Kaddish (prayer said on behalf of the deceased) surely does not satisfy the first condition. It is even harder to hear voices that are not in unison, and even harder if they say different Nuscha’os of Kaddish (prayer said on behalf of the deceased) and do not wait for each other.

I've bolded text in the above, and included the footnote (#21) below:

A Sefardi in an Ashkenazi Minyan says ‘va’Yatzmach Purkanei…’ (unless the Tzibur objects – Ohr l’Tziyon 2:5:11). Ashkenazi Avelim should wait for him (Doleh u’Mashke p.55). The Tzibur must answer Amen (Salmas Chaim 53). A Sefardi says Yehei Shlama Raba like the Tzibur (Ohr l’Tziyon; Yalkut Yosef (56:25) permits this if he says with Ashkenazim, in order to finish together). [If one waits to finish 'Yehei Shlama Raba' together with a Sefardi, who says a longer text, he should wait before saying 'v'Al Kol Yisrael', for 'v'Imru Amen' should be said right after these words - see Mishnah Berurah 56:2.]

So, a brief answer to the questions in your second paragraph is "yes" to both. The Sefardi should say his "long" nusach, and the Ashkenazi should wait for him to finish.

  • I think your bolded text is misleading. It looks like you're saying they shouldn't wait, when the quote is actually saying that not waiting causes problems. – Scimonster Jun 6 '17 at 19:57
  • @Scimonster Hmmm ... I would think it's easily understood if you have read the rest of the sentence. Maybe, I'll bold some other part of it for clarity? – DanF Jun 6 '17 at 20:15
  • Keywords: "if you have read the rest of the sentence." :) When i see bolded text like that i mentally ignore most of the rest. – Scimonster Jun 6 '17 at 20:17
  • @Scimonster I edited. I bolded something else. Yes, I understand the tendency to skip and focus on the bolded words first. Don't this time ... please! :-) The reason I bolded, here, was to focus on the main issues in OP's questions. – DanF Jun 6 '17 at 20:22
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The proper way to do it would be to sa kaddish according to the nussach of the shul. The reason for that being, that "al titosh metoras imecha" does not apply when davining in such a shul (at least for the things you need a minjan for, for everything else one is allowed to follow ones own nussach). There is also a Gemore in Pesachim 52 "al yeschaneh adam mipnei hamachlokes". On top of that there is a sheilah of "lo sis´go´d´du".

Rav Moshe paskens in T´schuwos Igros Mosche O.C. 2:104, 2:23 that one has to daven everything except the personal amidah according to the nussach of the shul.

This is a case though where a lot of people do not follow the haloche unfortunately.

  • If I'm not mistaken, Rav Moshe gives you the option of following your own nusach for birchos krias shma or other quiet parts (provided you stay quiet). As a child, when they davened at a Chassidish place, his father instructed him to follow their text and daven nusach Sefard, except for saying Bameh Madlikin rather than KeGavna. (As reported in the biography prefacing volume 8.) – Shalom Dec 3 '14 at 13:56

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