Minhag for married women to cover their hair in bed

Question

I know(1) there is a practice in Chabad for married women to wear a tichel in bed (i.e., with their husbands). I would not be surprised if this is the same in other Chasidic groups, if not in other ultra-Orthodox groups as well.

My understanding is that one reason for this is the mystical idea that married women's hair attracts kelipos, or forces of impurity. (There may also be some influence from the story about Kimchit that "the rafters of her roof had never seen the plaits of her hair" [Talmud, Yoma 47a].)

My questions are:

1) How widespread is this practice? Is it universal in Chabad? Do groups other than Chabad in fact observe it?

2) What is the reason for it understood to be? (i.e., are there other reasons besides the mystical explanation?)

3) How strict is this considered? Is it known among these groups as halacha per se, or minhag, or chumra?

4) Bonus if anyone knows whether people in these groups actually follow this rule.

(I'll up-vote any answer that addresses one or more of these.)

Related: Married woman covering hair

Woman's hair covering in the home or in private

(1) From Chabad shiurim and personal conversations with Chabadniks.

Answer 1

The rebbetzin in my (Chabad) seminary said that people who are makpid on kabbalistic matters do this; others do not. One follows one's kallah teacher's instructions or else the husband's family's minhag. She did not make it sound at all like a necessary part of minhag Chabad. I don't know about the minhag by other chareidim.

She was somewhat more clear that [she thinks] it is required during niddah, at least for Chabad.

Answer 2

A "chabad" rabbi seems to disagree with the custom stated above (maybe you are dealing with a small group of extremist not basing there behavior on books, or customs)
you are probably right about "(There may also be some influence from the story about Kimchit that "the rafters of her roof had never seen the plaits of her hair" [Talmud, Yoma 47a].)"

see this video
He also brings the Rebbe's letter in igros kodesh 15 page 415 where the rebbe brings a source nozir 28 A that a husband can demand his wife not to shave her hair for translation see end of this misha in perek 4 mishna 5
In the video he also says a statement that "in bed (i.e., with their husbands)" there should not be clothes (הוא בבגדו והיא בבגדה) (maybe the source of this is from this siman that i heard is learnt by Chabad regarding "in bed (i.e., with their husbands)" טהרת ישראל siman 240 sif 66

In my understanding of the sources
if they want to be strict (the rafters of her roof had never seen the plaits of her hair),
they should cover themselfs with a sheet (including the heads), unless the husband is ok with her covering hear head

Answer 3

Question 1 you asked if this custom is "Widespread" outside chabad. I see many are quoting the gemara of Kimchis to defend the position that a woman must cover her hair even when she is alone at home. See Igros Moshe Even HoEzer 1:58 that proves from Kimchis that a woman need NOT cover her hair in her own home. If everyone behaved as Kimchis did, why was she so heavily rewarded? Rav Moshe answers because no one covered their hair in their own home, only Kimchis did that. Because she was an extraordinary tzadeikes. I would contend that if Rav Moshe wrote a woman need not cover her hair at home, it is not likely that most typical non chassidic women do.

Answer 4

I was taught in my chattan class that this was the object of a dispute between the Steipler Rav and his teacher the Chazon Ish. Neither is in any way connected to the Chabad movement.

One one argued it was assur for a woman to cover her hair in this situation, the other argued it was assur for a woman not to cover her hair in this situation. I am ashamed to say I do not remember which held which position.

This is reconciled by explaining that in one case the husband wants her to cover her hair in such situations, and in the other case the husband does not want her to cover her hair in such situations.

Answer 5

This is a excellent question and is addressed in many easily accessible books in English. A few worth looking at are, Modesty: An Adornment for Life by Rabbi Pesach Eliyahu Falk, in particular pp.228-235, Gefen Poriah: The Laws of Niddah by Rabbi Avraham Blumenkrantz, Chapter 2, pg 20, item 21 and footnote 68 and Family Purity: A Guide to Marital Fulfillment by Rabbi Fisher Jacobs, pp. 34-35 and 49-50. Rabbi Jacobs is a Lubavitcher Posek in Israel whose area of expertise is this subject. Another good source to look at is this link to the internet magazine, Halachically Speaking on the Shema Yisroel network. It is sponsored by the Kaf-K.

In answer to your first question, the practice is halacha, not minhag. It relates to two different areas. The first is a woman's obligations in regard to modesty. That applies whether she is a niddah or not. Some Poskim hold that women are obligated to cover their hair even in the total privacy of her home unless she has a specific need, like to shower. This is the preferred behavior according to Mishnah Berurah, Biur Halacha 75:2.

The story from Yoma 47a about Kimchit is in this context. That the rewards for modesty are great, both in Heaven and on earth.

The second consideration relates to Ervah, nakedness. A married woman's hair, when uncovered, is considered nakedness Mi'd'Rabannan. That also applies to her boys over the age of Bar Mitzvah and to her husband and the prohibition of making blessings or saying any kind of holy words, I.e. Kriat Shema, zemirot, saying a D'var Torah, etc.

These things apply to all Jews, not just Lubavitchers.

The second part of your question sounds like it is asking the deeper idea behind these laws. That is addressed in Sefer Ma'avar Yabok, Siftei Tzedek, chapter 15 which quotes the Zohar, parshat Naso at the beginning of pg 125b. These laws parallel a wife's monogamy and devotion to her husband with her monogamy and devotion to HaShem. It relates the covering of her hair to the concepts of not serving other gods and not following after the practices of the nations.

As to your third question about how strict this is, it states in Ma'avar Yabok that a woman not being meticulous in this area causes poverty to her husband and death for her children and that this is the decided law (דין). Poverty and death can mean many different things. They don't have to be literal. But none of them are pleasant. That sounds like pretty strict concepts.

Your comment about a woman's hair attracting kelippot is more relevant to a single woman, in particular a woman who is no longer married. That is a much more involved discussion, but should be understandable if one considers the differences between a woman who has never been married to one who is a widow or divorcee.

Your fourth question is more difficult to answer. In this day, the failure of someone to practice something is usually the result of a lack of knowledge, not because of rejection of the Torah. And that also applies whether a person is a Lubavitcher or from any other stream of practice and tradition.