If both of my parents are living and they give me a reshut to say kaddish yatom if there is no avel, however the rav wishes that I not say it due to possible issues of marit ayin, who do I follow?

Of course, CYLOR (however I'd like sources when I discuss this with them).

  • Who are you saying it for?
    – Daniel
    Oct 19, 2014 at 17:49
  • Are you asking about in the rabbi's synagogue?
    – Double AA
    Oct 19, 2014 at 18:03
  • @Daniel, my father in particular is quite makpid that kaddish not be omitted l'chatchila, as it is a part of tefillah, thus, despite the fact that both of my parents are living, my father has instructed me quite specifically that I should say kaddish yatom if no abel is present and the sha"tz doesn't say it. Oct 19, 2014 at 18:39
  • @DoubleAA, there are two minyanim within walking distance where I typically daven, it is the smaller of the two where the rav doesn't seem to appreciate the saying of kaddish bli avelim. Oct 19, 2014 at 18:40
  • If this is the Chabad Rabbi you have mentioned in other questions, show him this.
    – Yishai
    Jun 26, 2015 at 16:20

1 Answer 1


Orach Chaim 132:2 Rama says that one can say Kadish Yasom after Aleinu even if he has parents, so long that his parents do not care. However I do not know of any source for saying it at other intervals besides after Aleinu.

  • 1
    How does this answer the question?
    – Double AA
    Oct 19, 2014 at 22:16
  • It gives a source for following his parents? But yeah...
    – andrewmh20
    Oct 20, 2014 at 11:11
  • 1
    @DoubleAA: This shows a source allowing one to say Kaddish Yasom in a specific circumstance even when his parents are alive. The question is asking for sources not for a ruling, if it is asking for a ruling it should be closed as this site does not replace a Rabbi. Oct 21, 2014 at 14:02
  • @GershonGold So, according to this source, if your rabbi tells you not to say it even though your parents tell you you can say it, what should you do?
    – Double AA
    Oct 21, 2014 at 14:04
  • 1
    @DoubleAA: "however I'd like sources when I discuss this with them" Oct 21, 2014 at 14:08

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