Recently, someone in my shul was angry at me because of something that I did not do properly for him. At the beginning of davening, he yelled at me about the problem, and embarrassed me in front of others in the shul. I told him, calmly and politely, that I would not answer his request if he spoke to me in a hostile tone. He wasn't happy with my calm answer / explanation. He also, walked out of shul before I had any chance to apologize or explain my side of the story.
I would like to apologize to him for the mistake and any harm I may have, inadvertently, caused him. But, at the same time, I would like to point out to him that I was very hurt by his hostile and demeaning tone and his embarrassing me in public. I.e. - I felt that he should also apologize to me.
I recall that Rashi's explanation on Vayikra 19:18 seems to imply that if one reminds someone of the "crime" this is considered "bearing a grudge".
Is this a case of bearing a grudge, if I remind the person of what he did yo me while I apologize for what I did to him? Or are there, possibly other halachic problems or is it considered, for some other reason, inappropriate to perform rebuke and apologizing at the same time?