What is the procedure for a Shiduch inside the Satmar community?

Can they "date" outside of parents house?

What happens if the girl (or boy) is not from a religious family, do they date in the house of the religious girl or boy ?

How many dates are there before marriage? How long is the time between the first Shiduch and the marriage?

How is the first "date" arranged?

  • @PloniAlmoni If you have an experience based answer you are encouraged to post it.
    – WAF
    Aug 15, 2014 at 18:37

2 Answers 2


First of all, there is no rule on this that is being enforced, everybody may do however they choose.

But, usually within the community the procedure is: the שדכן (Matchmaker) calls up both sides (parents) with the idea, the parents will do research, they will try to do the best research, in some cases it will take a week, sometimes more.

Once both sides decide that it could be a match they will first ask the boy or girl what do they say.

Then they will arrange a date, usually it's indoor, in the house of the girl, or a relative.

Because the parents did most of the research, and we trust our parents to know whats good for us, there are not many dates usually, mostly 2 or 3 meetings, once the boy and girl decide to take the next step, we make a לחיים and Mazel Tov...

I think average time between shiduch and marriage is 8-10 months.

But again there is no כללים everything depends on the situation and so on.

  • There are no klalim? I think you defined the klalim pretty clearly. "In general xyz... but a lot depends on all the normal human factors"
    – Yitzchak
    Aug 19, 2014 at 2:17
  • Thanks a lot for this beautiful answer Elye M! Are all the meeting in the parents house ? Are the parents always here with the boy and the girl ? What happen if the parents of the girl are not religious ? Is it better to do that in the boy's house ? And if the boy's parents are not religious either, but the boy is, what is proper way to arrange this meeting ?
    – maaan
    Aug 19, 2014 at 14:03

If the boy-girl or parents are not religious, usually they will do it the non-religious way.

Your question was on the Satmar community. This process is being done by most Hasiddic communities not particularly Satmar.

Also, I'd like to point out that by 2nd marriages, they do go out a lot more and not inside their parents' home. They also communicate with each other directly after a few times of meeting with each other.

Your question if the parents are inside. No. The boy and girl will always be alone in a separate room (usually leaving the door open) while both sides of parents will stay outside schmoozing until they both decide that they spoke enough..

  • Welcome to Mi Yodeya - is this answer based on personal experience? Dec 28, 2014 at 19:16
  • Besides the non-religious part, Yes. Unfortunately more than once. Dec 28, 2014 at 19:19
  • Sorry to hear that - you may want to add that information into your answer. Dec 28, 2014 at 19:25

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