I have seen havdalah ceremonies where a unmarried person is charged with holding the havdalah candle and is told to hold it at the height that s/he would want their spouse to be. What is the source for this idea, if any?

I have also seen this customed mentioned as a segulah

  • 2
    Its a joke,non halachik – sam Jun 29 '14 at 4:44
  • 1
    @sam source for the idea that it's a joke: shut.moreshet.co.il/… – הנער הזה Jun 30 '14 at 4:57
  • I don't know the source. But my grandma's reasoning made sense. She explained that the idea is that your spouse brings "fire" and "light" to the marriage. So, it's not about the physical height of the spouse, literally. It's about the "height" of the "flame" in your marriage. In any case, I wouldn't call this a "joke" based on this reason. – DanF Jul 1 '14 at 14:55
  • מאן סליק לעילא ואתא ואמר; how could anyone know that this is the case? – mevaqesh Feb 10 '15 at 1:06
  • compare judaism.stackexchange.com/q/91985 – msh210 May 6 '18 at 12:53

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