I have heard in the name of Rabbi Chaim Vital that one's olam haba depends largely on how he treated his wife.
anyone know the source (if any) of this statement and what is the logic behind it.
This is in the begining of Shaarie kedusha. I also saw a peirush of this in a sefer called Olam Hamidos. The main idea was, that a person can fake how he is to the outside world, but to a spouse you are with all the time and there is no faking your true middos. Also a person may be afraid to lose a friend if they act badly around them, but ones spouse is committed and therefore less likely to leave. The basic gist is that it is a true measure of what your true middos are.
My rebbe Rav Yitzchok greenblatt, a talmid of Rav Reuven Leuchter is very big on the concept of the obligation of a person to deal with their achraiyus and after bigger things. Surely there is no more direct responsability to a person then his wife.
Never heard this statement before but a quick guess would be the story with rabi Chanina and his wife in Taanis 25a (get ready daf yomi folks) where the vision of olam habaa was of the tzadikim sitting with their wives. We can say the way a person treats another is largely dependant on what they think that person is 'worth'. If he treats his wife well and shows Hashem what good treatment she deserves, he'll get to sit at that special 'reserved table' with her. Should work the opposite way to, the way the wife treats the husband etc. The interesting thing about that story is he almost ruined their table for olam habaa by praying for a miracle to make her life in this world easier.