I have heard in the name of Rabbi Chaim Vital that one's olam haba depends largely on how he treated his wife.

anyone know the source (if any) of this statement and what is the logic behind it.

  • 6
    What about for a woman?
    – Scimonster
    Commented Jun 26, 2014 at 13:44
  • כתב ר חיים ויטל: וכמעט שאין שום מקום ואפשרות אחרת, שיוכל האדם כל כך לתקן מדותיו ולהשלים עצמו, (אלא) על ידי ביתו והתנהגותו שם. ולכל אחד ואחד מזמן השם יתברך את האשה הראויה והמתאימה לו, להשלים את עצמו". (תחילת שערי קדושה) Commented Jun 26, 2014 at 16:57
  • @GershonGold i dont think this is from shaarei kedusha. where did you get this?
    – ray
    Commented Jun 26, 2014 at 18:20
  • I would imagine that how one treats one's wife is paradigmatic of his general spiritual state; i.e. a mensch will treat his wife well while someone with a rotten core will treat her poorly. Just a guess
    – Jewels
    Commented Jun 29, 2014 at 7:54
  • @Scimonster you're asking me or Rabbi Chaim Vital?
    – ray
    Commented Jun 29, 2014 at 10:59

2 Answers 2


This is in the begining of Shaarie kedusha. I also saw a peirush of this in a sefer called Olam Hamidos. The main idea was, that a person can fake how he is to the outside world, but to a spouse you are with all the time and there is no faking your true middos. Also a person may be afraid to lose a friend if they act badly around them, but ones spouse is committed and therefore less likely to leave. The basic gist is that it is a true measure of what your true middos are.

My rebbe Rav Yitzchok greenblatt, a talmid of Rav Reuven Leuchter is very big on the concept of the obligation of a person to deal with their achraiyus and after bigger things. Surely there is no more direct responsability to a person then his wife.

  • 2
    didn't find it anywhere there. are you sure it's not another book from him?
    – ray
    Commented Jul 29, 2014 at 17:45

Never heard this statement before but a quick guess would be the story with rabi Chanina and his wife in Taanis 25a (get ready daf yomi folks) where the vision of olam habaa was of the tzadikim sitting with their wives. We can say the way a person treats another is largely dependant on what they think that person is 'worth'. If he treats his wife well and shows Hashem what good treatment she deserves, he'll get to sit at that special 'reserved table' with her. Should work the opposite way to, the way the wife treats the husband etc. The interesting thing about that story is he almost ruined their table for olam habaa by praying for a miracle to make her life in this world easier.

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