Follow-up to "Do non-jews have soul mates?":

Can a Jew have a non-Jewish "bashert" (Divinely designated soul-mate) or vice-versa?


The idea of Bashert is that soul-mates are actually two halves of a single soul. Jews and non-Jews possess different types of souls. Therefore, a Jew and a non-Jew cannot be two halves of one soul, and cannot be Bashert.

A convert is a different story. When a person converts, he receives in some way a new, Jewish soul (i.e. a neshama with a connection to knesses yisrael) in addition to his human soul (i.e. the tzelem elokim) that he posessed prior to conversion. The Jewish soul is considered newly born, and can match up with a Jew. Prior to the conversion, the aspiring convert does not possess the type of soul that can be Bashert for a Jew.

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    As I understand it, the convert's Jewish soul existed and was present at Mt. Sinai, but did not fully join his body until he converted. Nevertheless, there must be some element of that soul in one's body. I know that one reason I decided to convert was that all of my ideas on religion turned out to be Jewish. – Bruce James Mar 4 '15 at 21:30
  • @BruceJames The way I understand it is that the Jewish and non-Jewish souls are not two different, albeit comparable souls but two different type of soul. The Jewish soul is not an additional soul of the same level but rather a soul of a different type entirely, that comes in addition to the previously existing non-Jewish soul. This comment would make more sense in Hebrew, which possesses upwards of five words that describe the various aspects/levels/types of soul. – LN6595 Mar 5 '15 at 2:34
  • @LN6595 Are you referring to nefesh/ru'ach/n'shama/chaya/yechida (Alshich on B'reishis 43:33, based on Breishis Rabba 14:11 and D'varim Rabba 2:26)? – Fred Dec 21 '15 at 3:58
  • @Fred Precisely. – LN6595 Dec 21 '15 at 12:59
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    @LN6595 how do you know any of this? – bondonk Mar 28 '17 at 6:25

I'm not sure if the translations match up exactly, but Rabi Akiva saw the wife of Turnus Rufus and knew through ruach hakodesh that he was going to marry her after she converted.

See Nedarim top of 50b with Rashi and Ran.

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  • But that does not mean she was his soul mate? He just saw the future (as every prophecy). – yO_ Mar 28 '17 at 14:21
  • Again, I'm not sure if the translations match up. In other words I'm not sure what the difference between ruach hakodesh relaying this message or a bas kol saying bas ploni liploni is, I'm not sure if there is a difference. But I do see here a Jew and a non-jewess destined to marry. – user6591 Mar 28 '17 at 14:58
  • Not destined, just R'Akiva saw the future... That is like the bechira: H-m knows the future, but we are free (and thus, responsible) for our actions... – yO_ Mar 28 '17 at 21:07
  • I think this has become a game of semantics. Think of a word you agree with as not contradicting bechira to explain the zivig announced of bas ploni liploni and insert it here. – user6591 Mar 28 '17 at 21:38

no and here's why... 1) a union of a Jew and a non-Jew is not a marriage. not only is it wrong to have such relationship of this type but doing so isn't even considered being married at all. 2) G-d would not have your bashert be someone you could not marry

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    This answer would be much more valuable if you could edit in your sources. – Isaac Moses Jun 19 '14 at 6:14
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    Maybe they're supposed to convert. – Double AA Jun 19 '14 at 15:29
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    it would only be after a convert converts that they could be someone's bashert and not before. while this might sound the same at first there is a subtle difference – Dude Jun 19 '14 at 15:44
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    @Dude - I don't know how true that point is. What "religion" were Rivkah, Rachel and Le'ah, or for that matter, Abraham and Sarah? Joseph married an Egyptian, and Moshe married a Midianite. We assume those 2 converted, though there is no mention in Tana"ch of that. Are you suggesting theat each of these women were not already pre-destined (bashert) prior to conversion? – DanF Jun 19 '14 at 17:05
  • being Jewish is about the neshama. before manton toirah each individual had to live their lives a certain way to ensure this. after manton toirah it became solidified that the Jewish people were connected in way to G-d like never before and so this neshamah could now be passed on by birth from their parents – Dude Jun 20 '14 at 0:49

Wasn't King David only born because of the fact that Boaz who when was an Israelite married Ruth a Moabite? So in essence, one of the greatest Kings in Jewish history wasn't of complete Jewish descent. In fact, I believe I read that because Ruth tricked Boaz into getting her pregnant, her merits were blessed? Wouldnt that mean The Mashiach would be of only half Jewish decent?

Also, didn't Queen Esther marry a non Jew? King Soloman was with Queen Sheba who wasn't a Jew. My apology if I'm totally off as I'm trying to understand why some of our forefathers could do what they wanted and it was accepted?

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  • This doesn't answer the OP's question. – Ploni Mar 28 '17 at 5:41
  • @Ploni Yes it does. You might not think that it marshals the most compelling evidence, but it seems to answer the question. – mevaqesh Mar 28 '17 at 5:58
  • Welcome to Mi Yodeya Shir! – mevaqesh Mar 28 '17 at 5:58
  • Bashert only applies to a first match, though (Sotah 2a). Sure, Esther and Solomon married non-Jews. But they were both previously married (Esther to Mordecai and Solomon to, well, 999 other women.) And as for Ruth, she converted, so she was completely Jewish at that point. – DonielF Mar 28 '17 at 11:31

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