Are there any sources in any Torah literature of the importance of a parent respecting their child. I am referring to a parent understanding their child. For example a parent not caring about his child's passions or pursuits, or verbally discounting their child's pursuit in life, something that could be quite damaging. I think we could fill a box set of encyclopedias of stories of parents not understanding their children and giving them space to make independent choices. I am asking if any sources touch upon this aspect.

Obviously there is a lot of emphasis on the respecting one's parents. But is there any writings on the other way around, parent respecting child? Are there any sources for this?

  • you mean respect them more than general population?
    – ray
    Sep 15, 2016 at 21:35

2 Answers 2



I came upon this source after I asked this question, BH.

Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:17

"אסור לאדם להכביד עולו על בניו ולדקדק בכבודו עמהם שלא יביאם לידי מכשול אלא ימחול ויעלים עיניו מהם"

In a nutshell the parent shouldnt ask too much of the child for respect, as this risks the child transgressing the commandment of kibbud av veim. Rather a parent should be forgiving of the child and overlook the child's faults. Later it goes on to say that the father can also forfeit his honor due unto him.

  • 1
    I really like the halakha immediately after this one as well (143:18): "Anyone who hits his grown son is placed under nidui, for he is violating the commandment of lifnei iver [i.e., by tempting him to retaliate and violate kibud av v'eim]." Your child's spiritual welfare is your spiritual welfare as well. Jun 17, 2014 at 20:11

the pele yoets seems to speak about this very nicely (the translation is not perfect)

the way you are asking your question "parents respecting children" is incorrect there is hierarchy in this world (that is the way G-d almighty created it sell below)

the links for the pele yoets i think you will find interesting
1. love of sons and daughters
2. sons
3. daughters

Regarding hierarchy.
Pele yoets gadol

...Behold, the Holy One Blessed Be He is the master of greatness and honor. He bestowed of his greatness upon His creations, and He commanded that each one should show respect for someone who is greater – for example: a father, mother, rav, or someone who is greater in wisdom or years. Likewise, a brother is required to honor his older brother, and in all similar situations where one is greater than the other, there is an obligation of respect. Our Sages (Pesachim 113b) commented, “What is the source for the obligation of a person who knows that someone is greater than himself that he must treat him with respect? The verse (Daniel, 6:4) says, “[A person is obliged to honor] whoever possesses a superior virtue.” A man who shames an individual whom he is required to respect, it is as if he shames the Holy One Blessed Be He, who commanded him to show this honor...

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