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It seems that all my local shadchanim require a shiduch "resume". I am really new to this concept, and so are my kids. I looked at some samples, and I don't understand some of the abbreviations, technical terms, etiquette and protocol involved in designing a shidduch resume. Has someone written a book or article that can guide me through this process?

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    Note YMMV as conventions without a doubt vary among communities.
    – Double AA ♦
    Commented Jun 9, 2014 at 17:34
  • This book is an interesting read, and the appendices include info about the questionnaires shadchanim sometimes ask you fill out. (Not much on resumes, though.)
    – Shmuel
    Commented Jun 9, 2014 at 21:08
  • @Shmuel - You need to go on a Yachad weekend, maybe. Or, "illegally" sneak a peek over the wedding mexhitza :-) I can't access the book link, now, but IY"H, I'll view it, later. I'm amazed someone wrote a guide on this. My own "cure" to the "crisis"? Marry an older woman. I did!
    – DanF
    Commented Jun 9, 2014 at 21:09
  • From Google: chicagochesedfund.org/stories/2013/11/06/top5 and endthemadness.org/etm/… | Some sites that IMHO seem to be perfect examples of what not to do, but appear to be serious: shidduchim-ed.org/writing-shidduch-resumes and ca.groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/shidduchimgroup/conversations/…
    – Shmuel
    Commented Jun 9, 2014 at 21:18
  • @DanF - Yeah, I'm opting out of the whole resume thing. Based on my experience (as a guy), almost all of the resumes do a very poor job of actually describing the girls, and most are so similar it's hard to differentiate between them. (Not to mention that they don't include photos, which IMHO are absolutely critical, but apparently is a big no-no. Which I don't get at all, since most of the girls I know have Facebook\LinkedIn... You're willing to let strangers see your picture to get a job (or just stam), but not to get a husband?) Whatever.
    – Shmuel
    Commented Jun 9, 2014 at 21:26

3 Answers 3

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One good website:

http://shidduchim101.com/writing-shidduch-resumes/

Writing a resume is not a perfect science; you can modify it to fit your personality, background, and hashkafic approach. In general, if you want to put something on the resume, you may; if you don't want to, you don't need to. It may be very helpful to get a hold of several resumes from friends who are similar to you and creating one off of those. People are generally happy to email their resumes when asked.

I also recommend you ask a friend who has a child (of the opposite gender) in shidduchim to look over the resume. She will probably be able to tell you what the profile means to a boy's/girl's mother.

If you have specific questions, such as definitions of key terms or abbreviations, please post them.

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Great question! There's a lot of talk about and demand for the "shidduch resume" and it can be hard to figure the ins and outs.

My wife is an experienced dating coach and took it upon herself to write the most comprehensive article on the subject available online: https://d8gr8.com/shidduch-resume-ultimate-guide/.

Here's an outline of what's covered:

Shidduch Resume Outline, The 5 Critical Elements

  1. Profile Picture
  2. Demographics
  3. Bio
  4. Kind of Person You’d Like to Marry
  5. Shidduch References

While you want to make sure the entire resume is solid, the absolutely key areas to optimize are the picture, the demographics, and your bio. Many, if not most, people that see your resume won’t go beyond those. If these aren’t solid, readers are not likely to read the rest.

Best of success!!

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I assume you've written the resume by now :) But just to add that I noticed a great blog about writing a shidduch resume, from Miriam Zeitlin - I found the examples really helpful, she shared a full resume for a boy and girl, with great pointers. May the process go smoothly for all!

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  • Hi Miriam. Welcome to MiYodeya and thanks for this first answer. Great to have you learn with us!
    – mbloch
    Commented Jan 11 at 13:18
  • Answers here are meant to be useful not just to the individual who posts the question, but to anyone else who is looking for the same kind of information, so thanks for sharing this resource! I know this is the author's choice, not yours, but I think it's strange to refer to someone trying to get themselves married as a "boy" or "girl." Marriage is a life choice to be made by adults!
    – Isaac Moses ♦
    Commented Jan 11 at 16:22

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