It seems that all my local shadchanim require a shiduch "resume". I am really new to this concept, and so are my kids. I looked at some samples, and I don't understand some of the abbreviations, technical terms, etiquette and protocol involved in designing a shidduch resume. Has someone written a book or article that can guide me through this process?

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    Note YMMV as conventions without a doubt vary among communities. – Double AA Jun 9 '14 at 17:34
  • This book is an interesting read, and the appendices include info about the questionnaires shadchanim sometimes ask you fill out. (Not much on resumes, though.) – Shmuel Jun 9 '14 at 21:08
  • @Shmuel - You need to go on a Yachad weekend, maybe. Or, "illegally" sneak a peek over the wedding mexhitza :-) I can't access the book link, now, but IY"H, I'll view it, later. I'm amazed someone wrote a guide on this. My own "cure" to the "crisis"? Marry an older woman. I did! – DanF Jun 9 '14 at 21:09
  • From Google: chicagochesedfund.org/stories/2013/11/06/top5 and endthemadness.org/etm/… | Some sites that IMHO seem to be perfect examples of what not to do, but appear to be serious: shidduchim-ed.org/writing-shidduch-resumes and ca.groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/shidduchimgroup/conversations/… – Shmuel Jun 9 '14 at 21:18
  • @DanF - Yeah, I'm opting out of the whole resume thing. Based on my experience (as a guy), almost all of the resumes do a very poor job of actually describing the girls, and most are so similar it's hard to differentiate between them. (Not to mention that they don't include photos, which IMHO are absolutely critical, but apparently is a big no-no. Which I don't get at all, since most of the girls I know have Facebook\LinkedIn... You're willing to let strangers see your picture to get a job (or just stam), but not to get a husband?) Whatever. – Shmuel Jun 9 '14 at 21:26

One good website:


Writing a resume is not a perfect science; you can modify it to fit your personality, background, and hashkafic approach. In general, if you want to put something on the resume, you may; if you don't want to, you don't need to. It may be very helpful to get a hold of several resumes from friends who are similar to you and creating one off of those. People are generally happy to email their resumes when asked.

I also recommend you ask a friend who has a child (of the opposite gender) in shidduchim to look over the resume. She will probably be able to tell you what the profile means to a boy's/girl's mother.

If you have specific questions, such as definitions of key terms or abbreviations, please post them.

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