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May (or should) a convert recite kaddish after his biological parents' deaths?
I think the answer is that yes, he may do so out of respect for them (even though, in a strict halachic sense, he is no longer "related" to them - he still owes them basic respect (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 241:9)).
But does anyone have any sources pro or con?
The Rambam in Hilchos Avel 2:3 says that a Ger is not obligated to mourn for either of his parents. This is so because someone who is aGer is considered as if he is reborn, and therefore has no Halachic relationship to his parents (Yevamos 22a; Bava Kamma 88a). The Beis Yosef (Yoreh De'ah 374) quotes the Mordechai in the name of the Ri that a convert must mourn for his mother, but the Rema in Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah 374:5 explicitly disagrees with this view.
Sefer Chassidim from Rabbi Yehuda HaChassid says that one may pray for the soul of a gentile who saved Jews in times of persecution and crisis. Rav Ovadiah Yosef (Yechaveh Da'as Vol 6 Responsa 60) rules that a Ger may say Kaddish for his parents and brings a variety of sources.
I am a convert and have learned both opinions. My late Rav, Rabbi Gedaliah Anemer, zt'l, held in accordance with the Rema. I did not sit shiva for my father or say the kaddish for him. However, Rabbi Yitzhok Breitowitz, shlita, told me that because there are "chashuvah" poskim who hold otherwise, e.g. Rav Ovadiah Yosef, the response should be based on whether my biological parent would appreciate it if he/she knew that I was saying kaddish in their memory. When Rabbi Maurice Lamm republished my Baltimore Jewish Times story of my own conversion, in his book "Becoming a Jew," he cut out my statement that I could not sit shiva or say kaddish for my parents, either in recognition of the controversy, or because he disagreed with the opinion.
