In my chassan classes I was taught that it is important to have relations on the night a wife returns tahor from the mikvah. I do not know the source of this idea. My question is: May the couple choose to forgo relations on mikvah night for any reason, out of convenience?


3 Answers 3


It appears that yes, indeed, you can postpone relations if both spouses agree, but it is best avoided.

The international Beis Horaah says

It is better not to postpone marital relations, but if it will not be comfortable for one or both of the couple, then it is permitted to postpone.

On the other side postponing shouldn't be taken lightly, see for instance this relating to the importance of the mitzvot post-tvila from yoatzot.org

One should make every effort to go to mikveh on appropriate night, even if it is inconvenient, so as not to delay the mitzvot of onah (marital relations) and peru urevu (procreation).


According to yoatzot.org, "[y]ou are not required to be intimate on mikveh night." The situation under discussion in that article is where the couple wants to abstain because they are angry at each other rather than simply out of convenience; however, the claim is stated without qualification.

  • I would imagine one would need a source to say it is required, as opposed to not required.
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Commented Jan 18, 2023 at 16:14

There is an idea (inyan) of the negative forces (klipos) clinging (being misdavek) to a woman who goes to the mikva and does not subsequently have relations with her husband.

According to this it would be better to delay going to the mikva to a night when they do intend to have relations subsequently.

Bearing in mind that if she sees spotting etc. she will need to restart her count of the 7 days without seeing blood subsequent to her period (shiva nekiim)

  • 5
    Consider dejargonifying this e.g. "be soser the shiva nekiim." Consider also sourcing this. Consider also whether it answers the question. The question reads "May the couple choose to forgo relations". The answer states that "There is an inyan of the klipos being misdavek to a woman who goes to the mikva and does not subsequently have relations with her husband." I am not aware of any source in the Tanach, Chazal, Geonim or Rishonim that says that there is a prohibition to cause klipos to be misdavek. Since this is the crucial point of the answer, it needs a source.
    – mevaqesh
    Commented Feb 25, 2016 at 1:45

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